Barry_1066

Barry_1066

This Applys to EVERYONE -- NO PERSON is exempt from DM action INCLUDING encounters that cause death.

When a DM is present and running things for players, encounters may be more challenging leading to deaths. I for one believe I have not challenged a party unless someone is capable of death -- meaning that death is certainly a possible reality.

With this in mind, (Total Player Kill) TPK is also a possibility since the balance of character to enemy is a guess and the D&D game system can go many ways based on dice rolls.

Game masters running situations NEVER leave people dead. Standing instructions for DMs is to work an (In Character)IC raise for such situations.

When I play, I enjoy knowing there is Real danger, even encounters I must flee from. This is Classic D&D PnP style. What good or fun is it to always prevail and always hack through the enemy untouched? I could play solo, forge uberness in the toolset for my character and go through anything untouched -- Bah!

As a RP server we can spend an hour eating pies or nearly drowning at a riverside as well as encountering enemies. It is DM presence and interaction that brings NPCs to life and can also surprise us with custom challenges. If there is a TPK, so what? Such an event is just part of the experience of gaming. DMs will work on a fix and all will be well.

Some DMs I have known are adversarial to players engaging in ego PvP type conflict. NO DM will do this on Annakolia. This is against our philosophy of the DM. We DM as facilitators of fun -- sometimes death and TPK are involved as elements of that fun.

Some monsters are very difficult yet appear not to be from CR rating. Giant Frogs are CR 11, yet they killed my lvl 25 sorcerer in one hit while he was fully buffed including epic shields. Sparky1479 was amazed at that since he has tossed many high lvl creatures at my character in Campaign and he has NOT died.

DMs are facilitators of fun.
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Greatest of all is he called Cthulhu. Only in Ancient, blasphemous manuscripts can that name be found...and those who decipher it are left pale and numb ---

Lord Guinness · Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:04 pm Post subject:

Wow..well said,barry... i agree with every word of it.there is no challenge in everyone always prevailing.I myself have been guilty of thinking "why wont anyone raise me?" in "rp reality", raising someone during combat would be near-impossible....
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Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
-Groucho marx

charissa1066 · Server Owner and Designer Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 4410

Try setting a ring or gem down. You don't see the generic NWN loot bag now. There's actually a little ring graphic and gems. There are other items such as this. It's nice. I like it. Smile

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Barry_1066

Annakolia has added the Classic Roleplay Adaptation Project (C.R.A.P.). There are many things this allows in the world.

The first thing you should find is the Player Action Widget (in a chest given at log on). It is a skull with red eyes. We will refer to it as the PAW.

The PAW can be used to do many activities including but not limited to:

charissa1066 · Server Owner and Designer Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 4410

Welcome new players! Very Happy

Annakolia Features:

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

To the High Priest of the Temple of Tyr in Annakol City,

It is with great regret that I am to inform you of the misconduct of one of your representatives. It has come to my attention that one of my subjects, under my protection, has been viciously assaulted within her own home for reasons which are unclear. This attack I deem to be unwarranted and a direct violation of your jurisdiction.
The aged woman who was victim of this barbaric assault is recovering but traumatised. I am sure you will agree that the violation of an individuals private residence is an unlawful act, and thus is not an act which you would support.
I therefore demand immediate compensation for the victim, and an amount which would be seen as both fitting and generous. Furthermore, I expect your temple to make a public apology and a guarantee that the member of your temple who committed this unlawful act will be dealt with in whichever manner you deem fitting for a 'so-called' representitive of Tyr, the Lord of Justice.
Failure to comply could be percieved as a hefty blow upon diplomatic relations between Fountain City and Annakol City, and will result in this matter being taken to more extreme measures.
I am sure it will not be necessary to remind you that Fountain City has extensive resources and a formidable Navy and Army.

Sincerely hoping this matter will be resolved amicably,

Baroness Zoe Drowbane of Fountain City.

*sealed with the Drowbane signet of a dragon in flight upon dark purple wax*
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

To the High Priest of the Temple of Tyr in Annakol City,

I am saddened to see that the expected apology for the unjustified actions of one of your representatives has not been forthcoming. I was mistaken to believe that relations between your Temple and my powerful family name would be taken as an important matter which would need to be dealt with amicably and with haste.
Your silence in this matter is a shame, especially as it forces me to take matters further.
If this matter is not resolved to my satisfaction, then I will have to deem diplomacy as a waste of my time and efforts. I will then be forced to seek other methods of action.
For your sake, I hope you make a wise decision.

Disappointed with your silence,

Baroness Zoe Drowbane of Fountain City.

*sealed with the Drowbane signet of a dragon in flight upon dark purple wax*
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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chizbo · Player Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 140 Location: MA, USA

*Below is a note summarizing a conversation between a group of Dwarvers and the Lady Galadriel, of Elven Lathine, said note finding its way to Lady Sidonia, Nessime Ungard, King Krago of Durin, and others opposed to the power of the White Hand*

Dark Forest Elf Ranger: My lady, they are here
Luli Steinhammer: Ah, Greetings *glances at Oskar*
Oskar Steinhammer: What be yer name, lady?
Galadriel: I am Galadriel
Galadriel: and you are?
Oskar Steinhammer: Greetins! I be Oskar, o the Steinhammers, formerly o dwarven Lathine!
Create IronBlade: Create of the ironblade clan
Luli Steinhammer: *hisses* Anvil, behave
Galadriel: our forest, our city has magical protections
Luli Steinhammer: *looks up* Ohh, Luli Steinhammer
Ezekial ForgeHammer: Ezekial of the Forgehammer clan.
Galadriel: nice to meet you all
Luli Steinhammer: and, er, Anvil

Oskar Steinhammer: Aye, an we be seekin yer help against the White Hand, an ter regain what once be ours.
Galadriel: yes i know
Galadriel: and now the while hand streaches out to us
Galadriel: we fight him, his orcs, goblins, ogres, giants, and now Fingar
Galadriel: i know what you want
Luli Steinhammer: Then ye'll help us?
Galadriel: our peoples have been friends in the old times
Galadriel: i would hate to lose my home
Luli Steinhammer: I was but a wee tot when Lathine fell and my papa with it
Galadriel: i have lived here for over five thousand years
Galadriel: so am attached to it
Oskar Steinhammer: *smiles sadly at Luli* Lady Galadriel, we seek yer help in regainin our homeland, and yer wise counsel.
Luli Steinhammer: *blinks as she tries to fathom 5000 years*
Galadriel: the White hand cannot be destroyed at this time
Oskar Steinhammer: *looks dismayed* Not even with yer help?
Ezekial ForgeHammer: Cannot be?
Galadriel: he is a power that grows in association with the Dark Moon Cthulhu and the worship of the horror
Luli Steinhammer: Oh, but we've come all this way, fer nothing?
Galadriel: we will help you stand against them
Luli Steinhammer: Aye, Dark Moon we've heard of. What is Chthulu?
Oskar Steinhammer: Bah, we stopped the avatar o this Cthulhu at the Ruins o R'lyeh
Galadriel: you destroyed a dream
Luli Steinhammer: *looks with wonder at Oskar*
Galadriel: do you think you could fight a god?
Galadriel: a god the other gods fear?
Oskar Steinhammer: Well, we had Olias with us, I think
Ezekial ForgeHammer: Fer Lathine, fight an win we would.
Oskar Steinhammer: ..and Aunika to, as I be recallin.
[Lightasa_Feather] Luli Steinhammer: But surely with Moradin's strenght ta guide us?
Galadriel: you could with enough might storm the city
Galadriel: vanquish him and yet he returns
Oskar Steinhammer: Aye, we entered Lathine afore, since the fall. Powerful goblins dwelt there, our weapons could nay touch them.
Galadriel: dark magic
Create IronBlade: it is a nasty place now
Luli Steinhammer: So that be it? We canna return?
Galadriel: training goblins in the advanced mastery of the bow
Galadriel: I see your outpost will fall
Galadriel: that unless you can defend it
Luli Steinhammer: Oskar, what is she saying? Why did we come here ta listen ta this?
Galadriel: My rangers are seeking some answers
Oskar Steinhammer: She be tellin us that we need ter defend Undivver Ultok, our stronghold near Lathine, or it too will fall.
Galadriel: we are in the same struggle
Create IronBlade: tell her a bout the deal
Galadriel: deal?
Oskar Steinhammer: *looks to Create and nods* IronBlade, mayhap ye can speak o it.
Create IronBlade: the enemy you are fighting now is looking for this place
Galadriel: yes we know
Create IronBlade: they wanted to hire us to find it
Galadriel: oh?
Galadriel: they will pay you well
Oskar Steinhammer: The Lord o Fingar seeks ye and yer elven city here, seeks it with all his malice
Create IronBlade: they said if we give them the location they would pay us. lets get a trap for them
Oskar Steinhammer: I give ye my word, I will not reveal it to him, by me honor and by Moradin's beard.
Create IronBlade: and end this
Galadriel: Broken Tree told me fingar and the white hand would unite
Luli Steinhammer: We said we were'na interested but I'm sure he dinna believe us. He offered a treasure
Galadriel: yes they want us all dead
Ezekial ForgeHammer: *huffs* Humans. Typical.
Luli Steinhammer: *looks at the others* If we went ta him with information, I think he'd believe it
Galadriel: they were choping down trees
Galadriel: with dryads
Galadriel: Killing them all
Luli Steinhammer: Oh, no
Galadriel: slaughtered whole clans of brownies
Create IronBlade: I say yes a trap
Galadriel: a trap -- what kind of trap?
Create IronBlade: we give them a location to go to you lay in wait when they get there BAM!
Oskar Steinhammer: *nods at Create*
Luli Steinhammer: Or tell them we know a way inta yer city that is unguarded
Luli Steinhammer: Not here, but somewhere likely
Galadriel: they may ask their true sayer to watch you
Galadriel: then just kill you
Oskar Steinhammer: Can ye or yer mages cast a spell on one o us that would fool their truthsayers?
Galadriel: the area about the entrance to Black Gold might be good
Galadriel: there is a spell but it does not last long
Create IronBlade: can you put it in to a scroll for us
Galadriel: there are scrolls
Luli Steinhammer: *picks up the scroll*
Luli Steinhammer: We use this when we enter Fingar?
Galadriel: when you enter the Garrison
Create IronBlade: *nods*
Oskar Steinhammer: And where be this "Black Gold" where we should lead them? Or should we give them the information and depart?
Galadriel: do you need a guide to the place?
Ezekial ForgeHammer: An if the rest o' us just keep our yaps shut, nothing 'll give away? Er do we each need the spell?
Oskar Steinhammer: I know a bit o these lands *smiles slightly* so if you tell me where the place be, mayhap I kin find it.
Galadriel: leave the Dale
Galadriel: go west and west again
Galadriel: look for the tunnel
Oskar Steinhammer: By Elgarth Mountain?
Galadriel: yes
Galadriel: to the Dense forest, in the Northwest
Oskar Steinhammer: An ye be waitin there for em?
Galadriel: I will have rangers
Oskar Steinhammer: Just make sure yer archers aim at the humans, not us dwarves. *grins*
Galadriel: only those dwarves of darkness
Galadriel: your Duergar clan
Oskar Steinhammer: *stiffens* If in truth there be traitors amongst me people, I promise, they will pay fer what they done one day.
Oskar Steinhammer: Unless ye have some final words o advice, we be takin our leave then and fillin our end o the bargain.
Galadriel: go then
Luli Steinhammer: I be wondering mam? *asks Galadriel*
Oskar Steinhammer: *waits for Luli*
Galadriel: yes an we shall help you if you need it
Luli Steinhammer: If ye could write sommat that we could show the Fingar commander?
Luli Steinhammer: Sommat we might hae found? Ta confirm oor story
Galadriel: *writes a quick note*
Galadriel: here take this
Luli Steinhammer: *takes the note* Ah, perfect
Galadriel: *hands Luli a note*
Luli Steinhammer: We kin tell him we caught a messanger
Luli Steinhammer: and found the note hidden
Galadriel: *nods*
Luli Steinhammer: We'll hafta practice lookin' greedy
Galadriel: that may work
Galadriel: *grin*
Luli Steinhammer: You'll hafta say ye overrode me Oskar, cause I was too definite aboot refusin the reward
Create IronBlade: greedy is easy
Oskar Steinhammer: I kin do that, Luli.
Luli Steinhammer: If'n an elf called Jaak comes, if ye could give him welcome? He's a trusted companion o' oors
Oskar Steinhammer: Trusted? *catches himself* Well, he be all right, fer an elfie
Galadriel: yes i shall
Galadriel: *grins*
Oskar Steinhammer: All right then. Off we go.
Luli Steinhammer: Oskar, he fought right beside ye on the way here
Galadriel: yes trust is still not easily given
Oskar Steinhammer: *winks at Luli* Practicin me greedy dwarf look, Luli.
Create IronBlade: just think of lots of ale
Galadriel: *smiles* and you are doing so well you fooled the pretty lady
Oskar Steinhammer: Lady, thank ye fer yer help. While we be off, please think about how we can save our stronghold from the White Hand.
*bows*
Luli Steinhammer: If ye set the trap fer 3 days ahead? *looks at Oskar for verification*
Oskar Steinhammer: *nods to Luli*
Luli Steinhammer: We'll hurry ta Fingar
Galadriel: know this -- we want him out as much or more than you do
Luli Steinhammer: Cause it wouldna look good if we try ta rush tha humans ta the trap
Oskar Steinhammer: We dwarves be great sprinters. We be runnin day an night ter get there an back ter the Black Gold
Galadriel: remember the humans cannot go as fast as you can
Create IronBlade: *smiles*
Ezekial ForgeHammer: *nod*
Galadriel: they may go faster at first but cannot keep up the pace
Luli Steinhammer: What? Anvil *runs to replant a bush*
Galadriel: very nice bear
Oskar Steinhammer: *looks at bush nervously* Well, best we be off.
Luli Steinhammer: I dinna care that there were honey ants. It were not yurs
Galadriel: he can have it
Galadriel: he is a guest
Luli Steinhammer: Yes, he's a nice bear but, weel, verra kind o' ye
Galadriel: we will plant another
Create IronBlade: *sigh*
Luli Steinhammer: *feeds the plant to Anvil*
Oskar Steinhammer: *motions to Luli* Come now, we best be off. *nervously* Dinna want ter impose on the ladies hospitality.
Create IronBlade: *shakes Head*
Luli Steinhammer: Ah, we'll be off noo
Luli Steinhammer: Come on Anvil

charissa1066 · Server Owner and Designer Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 4410

Realms of Annakolia is set on the world of Galandar. The history of Galandar and Annakolia begins, in the Ancient Days, when Dark Moon maintained total control. Elder Galandar existed in continual night. The gods fought a great battle and Dark Moon fell. Freed from the darkness, Galandar was split into cycles of light and dark called day and night.

The Awakening brought the elves and fae. The other races followed, halflings, humans, dwarves, and gnomes. Each of the races lays claim to being the oldest.

Since the fall of Dark Moon, the Forces of Light continue to struggle against the Forces of Dark, who would raise Dark Moon once again to blot out the sun. Long ago, in the Age of the Heroes, the forces of Darkness found a portal to Galandar. The origin of that gate is lost in the mists of time. Near the City of Annakol, Amberflame Castle and the School for Adventurers now rests over that ancient portal. Few remember the day the gateway was mastered and what magic keeps the Dark Forces at bay.

The Giants, an ancient race, considered all the smaller races a blight and corruption. From the beginning the giants killed and attacked the smaller races. An alliance with demons and devils in the Hells, brought the giants some intelligent direction and military might. Three Giant Wars fought within the last 300 years have been the most notable and organized. Giants work to open gates and release the denizens of Hell in return for help against the small stature surface races.
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charissa1066 on Flickriver

Wolfgang_1066 · DM/Contributor/Designer Joined: 05 Aug 2004 Posts: 102

The Mage Council

History: in the year 869 Tharbad was founded, 503 years have passed since Tharbad was first founded. The Mage Council was there since the beginning; you could say they are the founders of the city, thus making them one of the most powerful organizations in Tharbad. The sorcerers and wizards since the beginning separated half the city to each other the Sorcerer Council took the eastern side of the city while the wizards took the western -- they both would meet in the center of the city on the island between the two sides of the city to settle their disputes and vote on leaders and positions in each council. They have a required consensus vote on anyting in the Grand Council requiring 100% agreement to pass a law or measure. The Grand Council has never built the Wizard Library due to the Sorcerers lack of need for it. The library issue has been brought to vote every year for the last three hundred years. Because of the council the city has never been attacked, it would be insane to do so with the skilled magicians guarding the city and protecting it from harm. But there are disputes from inside the city itself and the nobles aren�t all happy with the council, because of this the mages hired warriors of skill and dubbed them the Mage Guards and soon afterward made the decision they needed people of skill in information gathering and stealth, thus the T.I.A. was formed T.I.A. stands for Tharbad Intelligence Agency. Former thieves pranksters and the like mostly trained in the art of the shadows make up the bulk of the T.I.A. operatives. To become one of the Grand Council members one must compete and be voted in and agreed on by their respective side. Some council votes count more then others, the higher the seat the more your vote will count. The council is made up of all humans, although there is no rule to the forbidding other races to serve, there is an unwritten law that only humans will be elected. There are no records of any other race serving on the council proper. Mages of other races have served in supportive roles for the council, subservient roles. Historically the Council has been haughty towards non-human races. From time to time more pluralistic, enlightened, forward-thinking mages have served on the council, but they are in the minority.

Positions: There are eight council members in the Sorcerer council, and eight in the Wizard Council. Half of the Wizard council and half of the Sorcerer council, four from each equaling a total of eight make up the Grand Council. There is also a leader from each, one Sorcerer and one Wizard, who are Grand Council leaders bringing the total count in the Grand Council to ten divided five sorcerers and five wizards. There are three councils, one Sorcerer, one Wizard and one combined, Grand Council. The Sorcerers rule one side of Tharbad, while Wizards rule the other side and the Grand Council meets in the middle on the Bridge and tries to come to agreement on joint issues.

The Guards on each side, East and West are hired by their respective Wizard or Sorcerer Council and paid by that council. There is a Sorcerer side Captain of the Guard as well as a Wizard side Captain of the Guard. The Guards on the bridge, the Grand Council grounds, are split with half Sorcerer aligned guards and half Wizard aligned guards.

Barry_1066

By request of the DMs I am placing this � ahhh -- discussion � for all to read. I am also adding a few thoughts that seemed right to me to add.

I know the Drow have Assassins and the Drow have such guilds in their cities. As for elves above ground, they are of Tolkien variety and as such have two basic types -- Wood Elves and High Elves. The Drow come from E. Gary Gygax, not Faerun and were incooporated into Annaknolia and the Elder Galander World very early on with the giant module trilogy, followed by the into the depths of the earth trilogy, and then the demon web or Loth. Since this was one of the earliest campaign played in our world, much of the political, and greater continual struggle are based on those concepts.

There would NOT be elven assassin guilds in the upper world of the elves. Those guilds are exclusive to the dark elves. That does not mean that a wood elf or high elf could not learn the skills, only that there are not guilds in the upper cities.

To better understand the world of Galandar and the Annakolia areas, think Tolkien for Hobbits, Elves, Dwarves, and many other critters. Add in early D&D creations such as Drow, Loth, and mix in Cthulhu from Lovecraft. Now think of some other major fiction such a F. Lieber�s Fafford and Grey Mouser, Asprin�s Thieves World, Zelazny�s Amber series, add in Greek, Finish, and a few other assorted mythologies, and mix well.

Please note � not one resource or reference to Faerun � either in book form or in D&D reference is used � NOT ONE!

Never quote Faerun references as a source on how things are � we predate the creation of Faerun and have never even read the books or materials. We did not have any D&D materials past AD&D 1.0 first editions until we started playing NWN. We now have a set of version 3.5 books. A lot of our decisions and world functionality still come from version 1.0. I do not like the loss of much of the Demonology section of the monster manual and other �cleaning� of the system.

It is my hope and dream, to bring to people in Annakolia, the Elder Galandar world, our original experience with D&D and our view of it as we have enjoyed it for the past � ahhh � long time.

In my view, other worlds have tainted certain races � Hobbits (halflings) in particular. E. Gary Gygax said that Halflings were Hobbits from Tolkien�s works in the very beginning, but required a name change to avoid copyright problems. It is a very rare exception to find halflings doing evil things or taking a dark path but it can happen � Golem is an example of a dark path Hobbit. However it should be noted that it took an extraordinary evil magic to turn him in his path. Hobbits by nature are friendly, easy going, mistrustful of big folk and strangers, and love their food, family, and hearth. Keep in mind that Hobbits were chosen to carry the One Ring in the LOTRs because of their resistance to evil. The favored class in D&D is the rogue which is reasonable in light of The Hobbit where Bilbo is the stealth master burglar. Bilbo is not a rogue who pick pockets his friends � but he does pick pocket trolls.

You will find Hobbits favored with several well made areas for their development and playing pleasure.
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Greatest of all is he called Cthulhu. Only in Ancient, blasphemous manuscripts can that name be found...and those who decipher it are left pale and numb ---

Barry_1066 · Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 11:01 am Post subject: The Jolly Roger Restaurant

The Jolly Roger Restaurant

This is a Player Owned establishment. There are some rules for ownership:

1) Pay the price listed on the Restaurant control board in the kitchen.
2) Once you own it, you are responsible to:
A) Advertise
B) Hire other PCs and pay them to work as waiters and waitresses
C) Be in proper Jolly Roger uniform when in the Restaurant.
D) Provide proper uniforms for employees
E) See to it that the establishment is being run -- IE it is not somthing you squirrel away as a trophy -- if you own it you do the work or it will be taken away by the DMs with NO compensation for the money spent for it.
3) Maintain the HIGH quality and atmosphere of the establishment and add to it with RP and Staff RP.
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Greatest of all is he called Cthulhu. Only in Ancient, blasphemous manuscripts can that name be found...and those who decipher it are left pale and numb ---

charissa1066 · Server Owner and Designer Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 4410

These are but a few of the communities and regions of Annakolia:

The City of Annakol
The city and surrounding countryside is part of a barony ruled over by Baron Talanque. He attained his position by birthright. Agriculture, weapon making, and fashion design are the principal industries.

Cloister of the Esterbury Elves
A community dedicated to research in all arts, including visual arts, magic, bardic and martial arts, the Esterbury elves maintain an extensive library and offer retreats for a select few. The cloister is a closed community that depends on the nearby town of Riverbend for food and laborers. In exchange, for Riverbend�s support the Esterbury Elves provide protection.

Dark Forest of Deadwood
Dark Forest is anything but dead, except in the vicinity of Fingar. Deadwood is an appellation applied to the forest by the inhabitants of Fingar. North of the harvested regions the forest becomes think and beautiful. The elves there call the forest by another name, a name known only to them.

Durin
King Krago of the Mountains rules the dwarven city of Durin. The dwarves pride themselves in armor construction, metalwork, and jewelry making.

Elomtemnen
The wizard Shorembo guides Elomtemnen. Old beyond reckoning, the beginnings of Elomtemnen go back to ages long forgotten by men and distant memory to the elves. Some say Shorembo founded the city. Others dispute this. They argue, how old could the wizard be? Many elven artisans and craftsmen dwell here. Yet, as with many elven communities, it is unclear what means of support these people have.

Fingar
Predominantly a human community, Fingar is a commonwealth run by a nine-member council, elected by from the ranks of its adult citizens. Citizenship is by birthright or by a long application process. Not unlike real life, Fingar's history is riddled with revelations of government corruption followed by periods of reform. Glass making, pottery, woodworking and lumber processing have made the merchants of Fingar wealthy and powerful. Unfortunately, Fingar�s proximity to ogre and giant infested mountains makes is susceptible to frequent attacks. The lumber industry puts the people of Fingar at odds with the tree-dwelling elves living north of the town. Elves tend to stay away from Fingar.

Hidden Forest
Hidden Forest is the home of the peaceable Utarg Tribe of orcish-human descent. Rediscovered some generations back by Liam Renard, these nomadic people tend herds of semi-domesticated buffalo. The women weave rugs and cloth of exceptional beauty. With the advent of trade between the Tribe and outsiders, a select group of humans developed into the Utarg Guardians. The Guardians are sworn to protect the tribe and pass their vows on to their children. Renard wrote about his stay with the Tribe in Whispered Threads � A Sojourn with the Utarg Tribe of Hidden Forest.

Lathine
Lathine was a dwarven mining community, boasting a labyrinth of mines and caves. The council of dwarves governed Lathine. Life was good for those who live within the walled city and the caves. The surrounding mountains are full of giants thus making travel hazardous at best. Some ten years ago, a sudden assault on Lathine by unusually powerful goblinoids and orcs killed or drove out the dwarven inhabitants of the city. It is rumored the White Hand is somehow involved. Some of the surviving dwarven inhabitants are seeking to regain their home. Many now dwell in Undivver Ultok, a fortified village in the mountains around Lathine.

Port City
A major port for the northern region, Port City is also the seat of power for the loosely held Kingdom of Annakolia. and King Tarrach Alfson and Queen Fina ingen Aeda maintain a home in the Castle District. Before they ascended to the thrown Tarrach and Fina fought side-by-side in the last Great War against the giants. Fina�s father, King Cariadoc died on the field of battle. On his deathbed he passed rule of the Kingdom to Fina and Tarrach, thus passing over Fina�s older brother, Prince Emrys. The Prince lives incognito, under self-imposed exile. Most recently he was spotted in Zenois Tower. Authorities in the Royal Guard are constantly on watch for the Prince�s repeated plots to overthrow Fina and Tarrach.

The Pride
The wemics of the Pride hunt the herds of buffalo and antelope that roam the savannah northeast of the Lowland Farmlands. The Pride�s range extends into the Uncharted Regions, but stops short of the Desolated Heath. Once per year on Summer Solstice, the Pride meets for a Rowel, where every wemic, male or female, may speak regardless of status in the Pride. Non-wemics who have heard the Rowel say that the sound of all those wemics talking, shouting, and bellowing, like the roaring of lions, stricks fear in one's heart.

The Uncharted Regions
East, toward the south sea, only the areas along the Galandar River and the coastline are well mapped. Little is known of the topography and creatures living beyond one-day�s journey from the coast or river. The rocky terrain becomes so inhospitable and water so scarce that most travelers either turn back or die. The few who return tell of a barren and desolated heath where scant vegetation lives. Travelers report incomprehensible visions that dog their waking hours and prevent sleep. Eerie voices whisper nonsense in their ears. Legend tells that the gods and mortals fought a great battle there eons ago.

Zenoris Tower
The tiny barony of Zenoris Tower lies west and across the river from Port City. The Baroness Margarette Zonoris rules by birthright. The only surviving progeny of her family, Her Excellency is both beautiful and available. She detests Prince Emyrs who frequently seeks her hand in marriage. The sewers of the keep are reputed to be haunted.

Gnomar
This island, populated almost entirely by gnomes, can be reached via ship from Tharbad, Arkham, and Halfling Heaven Village. Ruled by King Gloibo and Queen Maysis, the kingdom boasts a golem factory, farmlands and unusual forests. A trade route between Tharbad and Gnomar exists requiring Oxen transport. Certain other surprises make Gnomar an interesting place to visit and explore.

Updated 2/3/06]
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charissa1066 on Flickriver

charissa1066 · Server Owner and Designer Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 4410

The Kingdom of Annakolia calendar is the most widely used throughout the continent of Annakolia and some of the nearby islands. Since the Kingdom of Annakolia is represented by a dragon, the designation DR or Dragon Rising refers to the establishment of the Kingdom of Annakolia Months are generally referred to as moons.

Flmngo · Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 5:33 pm Post subject: Druidic Lore

Druidic Lore

Druid Groves serve as a source of life-giving power for druids and rangers. They also protect certain areas of land, although the reach of the groves is not known.

Guardians are immortal beings that give their lives to the keeping and protection of the groves. Each grove is tied to the Web of Life which, in turn, gives strength to all the lands. While the Guardians have broad life-giving powers, they also have an affinity for a particular element. Certain elements act in accordance with each other and create a resonance across the Web, adding even more strength. In this way, the Grove Guardians may speak of their �opposite� Grove and Guardian. They will have a tie stronger to that opposite than other elements in the Web.

The elements with their opposites are Fire & Water, Earth & Air, Metal & Wood, and Spirit & Realm. The element of Realm concerns things of a practical nature, the tie to the here-and-now.

Known Groves:
This is a list of known groves. It is by NO means complete.

Annakol Forest Grove
Location: Annakol Forest
Guardian: White Tiger
Element: Water � opposite is Fire of Legendary Grove
Protecting the Annakol Forest, the grove is a lovely place of water and waterfalls.

Legendary Grove
Location: Sands of Alisha Island
Guardian: Half-Dragon Fiend
Element: Fire � opposite is Water of Annakol Forest Grove
A grove of rock and sand, the fires of the desert are protected by this grove.

Butterfly Grove of the Stag
Location: Nif
Guardian: Shaella � a dryad
Element: Spirit � opposite is Realm of Druid Temple Grove
Something extremely precious, as well as the surrounding land, is protected by the grove. So much so that special spells protect the grove and armed warriors guard the entrance.

Druid Temple Grove
Location: Shadowood Forest
Guardian: Sylvana Moonglow � a human
Element: Realm - opposite is Spirit of Butterfly Grove of the Stag
Inside the temple, lies a grove of stone, water, and wood. It protects the surrounding forest and serves as a gathering place for all druids to come together to study and learn. For those who can find it, there is said to be a portal to the Bridge of Everlasting Life.

Elomen Forest Grove
Location: Elomen Forest
Guardian: Nawiewien Tir�ein � a winged elf
Element: Fire � opposite is Water of Rainbow Grove
The forest grove protects parts of Elomen Forest and stands at the entrance to Elomtemnen, the elven city.

Rainbow Grove
Location: Golden Forest Esterbury
Guardian: Pol � a polar bear
Element: Water � opposite is Fire of Elomen Forest Grove
Rainbow Grove is a hidden grove. Only the Elves of Esterbury and certain adventurers know of its existence. Any knowledge of Rainbow Grove should be treated as OOC.

Trillium Grove
Location: North Road in the Golden Forest
Guardian: She-Wolf � a white wolf
Element: Earth � opposite is Air of Manuxet Grove
She-Wolf protects the brownies of the She-Wolf Clan. Her howls hold the surrounding lands and keep the area safe for travelers until they pass north of the Prancing Pony�s Half-Moon Inn.

Manuxet Grove
Location: Manuxet Bluffs
Guardian: Eagle
Element: Air � opposite is Earth of Trillium Grove
Under mysterious attack, the grove uses all its strength to just stay alive. Thus, the surrounding forests are dark and the wolves run mad.

Bamboo Grove
Location: Eastland Mountains
Guardian: Great Panda
Element: Metal � opposite is Wood of Broken Tree Grove
A quiet and unobtrusive grove, it protects the mountains and all its treasures. Large bamboo stalks reach up to the sky where pandas can be found wandering the grove.

Broken Tree Grove
Location: Dark Forest
Guardian: Broken Tree � a dryad
Element: Wood � opposite is Metal of Bamboo Grove
A rainbow of light shows the strength of this grove, along with the flowers and trees that are always in bloom. On the north edge of the grove lies the tree entrance to Broken Tree Inn.

Dark Forest Grove
Location: Dark Forest
Guardian: Treant
Element: Spirit � opposite is Realm of Fletcher Wood Grove
A hidden grove, it protects the western areas of the Dark Forest. The Treant was most protective of his people, the Dire-Wolf Clan of brownies, until humans, wishing to log the forest, massacred them.

Fletcher Wood Grove
Location: Halfling Heaven on Alisha Island
Guardian: Red Panda / Keeper: Mrs. Fletcher
Element: Realm � opposite is Spirit of Dark Forest Grove
The grove protects the practical-minded residents of Halfling Heaven. The Guardian is solitary and shy; much of the interaction with the grove is handled by the Fletcher Family.

Ancient Grove of the West
Location: Great East Road
Guardian: Vegepygmy
Element: Wood � opposite is Metal of Grove of the Ice Queen
An almost forgotten grove, it protects the Great East Road areas. The origins of the Guardian are all but lost and some say that the grove has only recently awoken after a millennium of slumber.

Grove of the Ice Queen
Location: Bane Mountains
Guardian: Tinde � an elf
Element: Metal � opposite is Wood of Ancient Grove of the West
The snow-covered grove is striking with red ferns and green shamrocks. The grove protects the Bane Mountains.

Drow Grove �Shroom Grove
Location: The Depths
Guardian: Myconid King
Element: Earth � opposite is Air of Gold Dragon Grove
A neutral grove, it protects the lands below.

Gold Dragon Grove
Location: Alisha Island
Guardian: Dragon
Element: Air � opposite is Earth of Drow Grove of �Shrooms
An ancient elven temple and the surrounding forest were once served by this grove. Then a great unknown tragedy occurred so that the grove and the temple were left without life.

Lost or Corrupted Groves:
Some groves have died due to some unknown tragedy or have been corrupted to evil.

Green Grove � corrupted � now known as the Infested Grove
Location: Greenway
Guardian: Spider - deceased
Element: Air � opposite was Earth of Bane Mountain Grove
For a very short time, the grove thrived and protected the Greenway. Then, the rightful Guardian was murdered and the surrounding area fell into darkness.

Bane Mountain Grove � now dead
Location: Bane Mountains
Guardian: Brown Bear � deceased
Element: Earth � opposite was Air of Green Grove
Once tied to the Green Grove, the grove died when its opposite guardian was foully murdered.

Mirkwood Grove � now corrupted
Location: Mirkwood Forest
Guardian: Elf � now held by the Widow Maker
Element: Wood � opposite was Metal of Lathine Grove
The fall of this grove is unknown. It is now held by the Widow Maker, a justly named being.

Lathine Grove � now dead
Location: Lathine Hidden Woods
Guardian: Boar � deceased
Element: Metal � opposite was Wood of Mirkwood Grove
Once tied to Mirkwood Grove, the grove died when its opposite was corrupted.

Barry_1066 · Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 8:23 am Post subject: Blossom

The Special Baby of the Grove.

http://jubilatores.com/blossom.html

Blossom at age 2 years.
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Greatest of all is he called Cthulhu. Only in Ancient, blasphemous manuscripts can that name be found...and those who decipher it are left pale and numb ---

charissa1066 · Server Owner and Designer Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 4410

"Blossom" realized in watercolor by Fiore McHenry.

She can be reached by email at: folkensan699@yahoo.com

A talented young artist, Fiore works in many mediums, both traditional and electronic.

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Missus Brewer turns to her husband.

Mrs B- "Its so much quieter round here, now that Tom has moved out."
Mr B - "Pardon dear?"
Mrs B-"I said, its quieter round here..... without Tom, and all his clutter."
Mr B -"Careful dear. People might think you are glad he has moved out."

*brief moment of silence*

Mrs B- "Well... its not as if we dont see him."
Mr B - "Pardon dear?
Mrs B- "I said, its not as if he doesn't visit. I do wish you would listen."
Mr B - "Sorry dear."
Mrs B- "Do you think she cleans his clothes better than I did?"
Mr B - "Who dear?"
Mrs B- "Peony. Who else would I mean? Pay attention.... what are you doing anyway?"
Mr B - "Hmm? Oh, I am testing the temperature of my newest brew." *eyes sparkle*
Mrs B- "Well?"
Mr B - "Well what?"
Mrs B- *sigh* "Do you think she cleans his clothes better than I did? You remember the state he used to get his shirt collar in."
Mr B - "Probably dear." .... *thinks* ..... "What is all this about?"
Mrs B- "Oh nothing. Just go back to your....*gestures with her hand* whatever it is you said you were doing."

*long silence*

Mrs B- "Do you think we will still be alive when they have children?"
Mr B - *bashes head on shelf* "Ow!" *rubs his head* "What are you going on about now?"
Mrs B- "I said, Do you think we will..."
Mr B - "No, I heard you! Have you been at the Brandy Wine again?"
Mrs B- "I had a small glass for second breakfast, but thats not the point."
Mr B - *back under the shelf again* "Pardon dear?"
Mrs B- "Oh never mind. I'm going to market for some retail therapy."
Mr B - "Okay dear. Have a nice time."

*awkward moment of silence followed by a door slamming shut as Missus Brewer leaves*

Mr B - *mutters to himself* .... two degrees too warm.
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Mister Brewer is tinkering with something under the bar. Missus Brewer is reading a list of the Gardener familys latest line of herbaceous border seedlings

Mrs B - These nasturtiums look nice. Could we maybe get some hanging baskets?
Mr B - Yes dear.
Mrs B - And these miniature roses would look nice outside the back door. How about we get a few of those too?
Mr B - Yes dear.
Mrs B - *puts down the brochure and gets a stern expression* How about some dragonflies for tea?
Mr B - Sounds nice dear.
Mrs B - I knew it. You aren't even listening.
Mr B - Whatever you like dear. You choose.
Mrs B - *whacks her husband with the brochure*
Mr B - *bangs his head on the shelf under the bar* Ouch! *rubbing head* What did you do that for?
Mrs B - Tell me what i said.
Mr B - Pardon? *worried look*
Mrs B - Tell me what I was talking about.

*brief awkward silence*

Mr B - *cautiously* Plants?
Mrs B - Yes, but which ones?
Mr B - The ones in the brochure dear. *ducks back under the bar and returns to tinkering*
Mrs B - What are you doing this time?
Mr B - Pardon dear?
Mrs B - I said, what are you doing under there?
Mr B - Oh, nothing dear.
Mrs B - *frowns and raises the brochure for another swipe*
Mr B - Who tightened that bolt? Its stuck fast.
Mrs B - *lowers the brochure* What bolt?
Mr B - The bolt on.... *straining noise*....Marcus wept!
Mrs B - WHAT BOLT DEAR?

*short silence with occasional grunting and groaning as mister brewer struggles to loosen the bolt*

Mrs B - I'm going shopping. I may be a while.
Mr B - Okay dear. Have a nice time.

*long silence as Missus Brewer contemplates whacking him with the brochure, but instead walks to the door and goes shopping, slamming the door behind her*

Mr B - Aha, it turns clockwise!
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Missus Brewer is carefully planting seedlings into hanging baskets at the bar before hanging them outside. Mister Brewer is under the shelves as usual, doing 'something'.

Mrs B - Mrs Gardener told me that her daughter, Shy, was cultivating some new pink and white lavenders.
Mr B - Pardon dear?
Mrs B - I said, Shy Gardener is growing some pink and white lavenders.
Mr B - Thats nice dear.
Mrs B - I put in a pre-order for 3 dozen. I thought we could give some to Tom and Peony.
Mr B - Who dear?
Mrs B - Tom? Our son?
Mr B - Oh? Whats he been doing this time?
Mrs B - Pardon?
Mr B - You said Toms been up to something.
Mrs B - No, I didn't. I said I was thinking of...
Mr B - Uhuh. Thats nice dear.

*short moment of silence*

Mrs B - *sighs and asks the question* What are you doing this time?
Mr B - The underside of this shelf has splinters dear. I am sanding it.
Mrs B - *shakes her head and returns to planting seedlings*

*long silence with the constant sound of sanding*

Mrs B - Should we invite Tom and peony to dinner this weekend?
Mr B - If you like dear.... oh...ouch...yeeow!
Mrs B - Whats wrong dear? *worried*
Mr B - I have dust in my eye.
Mrs B - What do you expect? You are sanding the underside of a shelf and laying on your back.
Mr B - Pardon dear?
Mrs B - I said.... oh never mind.

*mister brewer returns to sanding*

Mrs B - Do you think I should cook a roast, or should I maybe go for something more exotic?
Mr B - When dear?
Mrs B - When Tom and Peony come for dinner.
Mr B - Are they coming for dinner?
Mrs B - Well, I haven't asked them yet, but...
Mr B - Dont you think you should dear? It would be pointless cooking if you haven't invited them.

*missus brewer breaks a seedling accidentally and scowls with frustration*

Mrs B - *through gritted teeth* I will dear.
Mr B - Oh, in that case, if you are going out could you get me some more sandpaper?

*long silence followed by the sound of a slamming door*

Mr B - Thankyou dear. *climbs out from under the shelf and looks at the bar* Hmm... seems as though she bought some seedlings. I wish she would tell me these things.
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Missus Brewer enters the tavern after being shopping. Her husband is standing on a stool which has been placed on the bar and is fiddling with the chandelier. Jenga Gamesake, the barman, is standing idly holding a large box of candles.

Mr B - Hello dear.
Mrs B - Hmm?
Mr B - I said hello dear, that is all.
Mrs B - Oh. Hello dear.

*brief silence as Missus Brewer places two boxes she is carrying upon the table and returns to the tavern door, exiting.*

Mr B - Another candle please Jenga.
Jenga - *passes up a candle*

*the door opens again and Missus Brewer enters carrying two more boxes and three bags, placing them all on the table*

Mr B - Another candle please Jenga.
Jenga - *passes up a candle*

*Missus Brewer sits at the table and opens one of the boxes, pulling out a new pair of shoes and smiling happily.*

Mr B - Another candle please Jenga.
Jenga - *passes up a candle*

*Missus Brewer sets the shoes to one side and opens another box, pulling out another pair of shoes*

Mr B - What have you got there?
Mrs B - Pardon dear?
Mr B - Those boxes and bags.... What have you got there? Another candle Jenga.
Jenga - *passes up a candle*
Mrs B - Oh.. just some essentials.
Mr B - Essentials? It looks like you've bought the entire market.
Mrs B - Uhuh. *opens another box and retrieves a third pair of shoes*
Mr B - Uhuh? What is that supposed to mean?
Mrs B - Pardon dear? *opens the last box and pulls out a hat.*
Mr B - Is that a hat? What do you need a hat for?
Mrs B - The hat goes with my new shoes dear.

*awkward silence as Mister brewer wobbles on the stool and tries to keep his balance*

Jenga - Nice hat Missus B.
Mr B - Dont encourage her Jenga. Another candle please.
Jenga - *passes up another candle*
Mrs B - *stands from the table and opens one of the bags, pulling out a full evening gown with matching clutch-purse*
Mr B - What the devil have you gone and bought THAT for?
Mrs B - Well, i wanted something to go with the darker pair of shoes. What do you think of it? *holding the gown against herself and gazing in a mirror*
Mr B - I think it looks expensive.

*long silence as Missus Brewer carefully puts the gown down and opens another bag*

Mr B - What is she going to pull out next? A tiara? *to Jenga*
Jenga - *passes another candle*
Mr B - No, i dont need any more candles. That was the last one. *climbs down from the stool and stands on the floor*
Jenga - *whispers* Good guess Mister B.

*shocked, stunned silence as Mister Brewer spins round to see his wife gazing at herself in a mirror with a Tiara on her head and matching diamond necklace.*

Mr B - *splutters* What HAVE you been buying!!
Mrs B - I treated myself.
Mr B - With whose money?? Not with my savings I hope!
Mrs B - With OUR savings dear.
Mr B - *suddenly goes pale* How much did it cost me?
Mrs B - Pardon dear?
Mr B - How MUCH??
Mrs B - Oh, i lost track dear. But dont worry, i got you something.

*difficult silence as Misus Brewer opens the last bag and pulls out a garden fork handle.*
Mrs B - I got you a new one because I broke your old one this morning.
Mr B - A Fork Handle??
Jenga - *passes him four candles*
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Mister Brewer has his head buried in a book and is frantically scribbling numbers in it, with a worried expression. Missus Brewer is parading around the tavern in an evening gown, tiara, diamond necklace, matching clutch purse, new shoes and hat. Jenga is washing glasses.

Mr B - Carry the one..... *mutters*
Mrs B - We should have a party.
Mr B - No no no, that can't be right. *grabs an eraser and rubs out his calculations*
Mrs B - We could invite everyone from the village.
Mr B - *looks at the first reciept again*
Mrs B - I am sure they would all like a party.
Mr B - *looks at the second reciept*
Mrs B - Are you listening to me dear?
Mr B - Yes dear. *looks at the first reciept again*

*silence apart from the sloshing of glasses being washed*

Mrs B - I think I will go shopping and buy some nice invites.
Mr B - What? *looking up*
Mrs B - We can't throw a party without invites dear.
Mr B - Party? Oh, Saint Marcus preserve us... No.
Mrs B - No?
Mr B - *holds a fistful of reciepts as if they explain everything.* Please dear... No.
Mrs B - I dont know what has got into you lately. *adjusts her tiara* You used to be so much fun.
Mr B - Dear!? *smiling and trying to remain calm* Please let me finish the accounts before you spend any more money.
Jenga - *drops a glass*
Mr B - *sighs*

*silence apart from the sound of glass being swept up*

Mrs B - Would you like any help?
Mr B - NO!..... I mean, No thankyou dear. *under his breath* You have done enough damage already.
Mrs B - Pardon dear?
Mr B - Nothing dear. Just calculating.
Jenga - He said you've done enough damage already Missus B. *trying to be helpful*
Mr B - *to jenga* Why? Why would you say that?
Jenga - I.... I really have no idea Mister B. *returns to washing glasses*
Mrs B - Oh, he did, did he?
Mr B - Dear...please just let me finish the accounts.
Mrs B - Fine.

*silence*

Mrs B - Should I go and start writing out invites?
Mr B - *snaps his graphite stick*
Mrs B - If we are going to throw a party, we really need to start sending out invites.
Mr B - *through gritted teeth in the form of a smile* Do we have enough money to orgnise a party.... DEAR?
Mrs B - Well, you would know that better than me. You are doing the accounts after all.
Mr B - Exactly.... DEAR. Now, PLEASE, let me finish doing the accounts.
Mrs B - You never used to be such a grouch.
Jenga - *drops a glass*

*silence apart from the sound of sweeping glass and a graphite stick being sharpened*

Mrs B - You haven't even commented on how I look.
Mr B - Pardon dear?
Mrs B - You haven't said how nice I look.
Mr B - You look like a million gold pieces dear.
Mrs B - Do I?
Mr B -*looking at the reciepts* Well, actually you look like 447,000 gold pieces dear.... and I rounded that up.
Mrs B - I didnt spend that much... did I?
Mr B -Yes dear. You did dear.
Jenga - But it looks nice on you Missus B.
Mrs B - Thankyou Jenga. See dear. Jenga knows how to compliment a lady.
Mr B - *glares at Jenga* Jenga doesn't have to foot the bill dear.

*awkward silence followed by the sound of a slamming door*

Mr B - Oh for the love of Marcus, where has she gone now?
Jenga - I think she went to buy invites Mister B. *drops a glass*
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Onyx Bramblethorn stands at the bar waiting to be served. Jenga is in the cellar rearranging barrels, whilst Mister Brewer is standing at the cellar hatch barking orders. Missus Brewer is absent

Onyx - Service?
Mr B - That barrel needs to go on top of the other Cherry Wine barrels. No, not that one.... yes.. that one.
Onyx - Hello?
Jenga - *says something muffled from within the cellar*
Mr B - They aren't THAT heavy. A youngster like you should be able to lift it easily.
Jenga - *says something else in a similar muffled manner*
Mr B - Well, you look younger. Anyway, thats still younger than the likes of me.
Onyx - *coughs* Service?
Jenga - *shrieks in pain*
Mr B - Careful Jenga. Lucky you have another foot, eh?
Onyx - *leans over the bar and pours herself a drink*
Jenga - *muffled sobs from the cellar*
Mr B - Oh don't be such a cry-baby. Its not as if you dropped it from a great height.
Jenga - *muffled sobs*
Mr B - *sighs* I guess I could go and see if Nurse Fleetfoot can take a look at it.

*Missus Brewer walks in carrying a basket of fruit*

Mrs B - Hello Dear.
Mr B - I will get Nurse Fleetfoot as soon as my wife comes back from the orchard. In the meanwhile, see if you can roll the barrel off your foot.
Jenga - *shrieks in pain*
Mr B - Well you can't leave it where it is.
Mrs B - I said hello dear?
Jenga - *muffled sobs*
Mr B - As soon as the wife gets back, yes.
Mrs B - *sighs and repeats herself louder* I said Hello Dear!!
Mr B - Oh, hello dear. You are back early.
Mrs B - What is going on down there? *moves to peer down into the cellar*
Mr B - Oh, nothing dear. Jenga just dropped a barrel on his foot and is making a song and dance about it.
Mrs B - Oooh, that looks nasty. Shouldn't you get Nurse Fleetfoot?
Mr B - Yes dear. If you could, it would be nice. Thankyou.
Onyx - *leans over the bar and pours herself a second drink*
Mrs B - No dear, I said...
Mr B - *interrupts* Thats one of the things I love about you dear.
Mrs B - *stubbornly* No dear, I said shouldn't you...
Mr B - *interrupts again* He really should have been paying more attention. Those barrels are heavy.
Mrs B - Why were you not helping him?
Mr B - Pardon dear?
Mrs B - I said...Why were you not helping him?
Mr B - well, I stayed up here to keep an eye on the bar.

*short silence as Mister and Missus brewer turn to look at Onyx*

Onyx - *smiles*
Jenga - *loudly* Can somebody PLEASE get Nurse Fleetfoot? *whimpers*
Mrs B - *sighs* I guess that will be me then.
Mr B - Well you did offer.

*awkward silence followed by a harsh glare from Missus Brewer before she walks out of the tavern.... slamming the door behind her*

Mr B - *calling down into the cellar* Its allright Jenga. She's gone to get the Nurse now.
Onyx - *leans over the bar and pours herself a third drink*
Jenga - *muffled sobs*
Mr B - Try moving the barrel again. The nurse wont be able to examine your foot with that whacking great barrel on it.
Jenga - *howls in pain*
Mr B - There! That wasn't so hard now, was it!?

*silence*

Mr B - Maybe you should come up here too. you cant expect the Nurse to climb down that rickety ladder.
Jenga - *whimpers something muffled from within the cellar*
Mr B - Dont worry. I have the hatch. *holding the trapdoor open*
Jenga - *slowly his head and hands appear in the hatch opening* My foot hurts real bad Mr B.
Mr B - Well, it would do. You dropped a barrel on it.
Onyx - *leans across the bar and pours a forth drink*
Jenga - Hey! Whats she doing?
Mr B - *turns round and sees Onyx* HEY! *lets go of the trapdoor*
Onyx - Look out!

*a loud crashing noise as the trapdoor slams down on Jengas head and fingers, sending him plummeting back into the cellar*

Jenga - *muffled cries of pain*
Onyx - *winces*
Mr B - I hope you are paying for that, little missy.
Onyx - Of course I am, but you were busy. *smiles*
Mr B - Well, allright then..... but next time, just say something and i will serve you.
Onyx - Shouldn't you let him out?
Mr B - Who?
Onyx - The guy in your cellar.
Mr B - *looks over his shoulder at the cellar hatch* Oh. How did that happen? *opens the hatch*
Jenga - *muffled strong words*
Mr B - Well there is no need to be like that Jenga. Perhaps next time you will use the winch I installed for moving the barrels.
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Jenga is seated on a stool behind the bar. (His neck in a brace with both arms in plaster and one foot heavily bandaged. Also, his eyes are blackened and one front tooth is missing). There is nobody else in the bar.

Jenga - Hello? Hello-o! *tries to turn his head* Ouch!

*a moment of absolute silence*

Jenga - Mithuth B?

*a longer period of silence*

Jenga - Mithter B?

*yet more silence*

Jenga - Somebody? ANYBODY? *his face contorts with gritted determination*

*still the silence continues*

Jenga - Please..... I really REALLY need the bathroom. *his eyes suddenly widen*
Jenga - *whimpers as a warm puddle emerges on the floor by his left leg*

Missus B - *calls from upstairs* I'll be down in a minute.
Mister B - *pops his head up from the cellar* Pardon dear?

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Jenga is seated on his stool behind the bar and looking at a small pamphlet (still sporting a multitiude of injuries). Mister and Missus Brewer are also behind the bar, and are cuddling.

Mr B - I love you dear.
Mrs B - I love you too dear.
Mr B - I love you more.
Mrs B - And I love you even more than that dear.
Mr B - I will love you more tomorrow than I do today.
Jenga - *cringes and tries to read the pamphlet again*
Mrs B - *noticing Jenga cringe* Are you in pain?
Mr B - Only the pain from the huge amount of love which threatens to burst from my beating heart.
Mrs B - Not you dear.
Mr B - Pardon dear?
Mrs B - Jenga.
Mr B - You love Jenga? *astonished*
Jenga - *looks up from his pamphlet with a similar astonished expression*
Mrs B - No, silly. He cringed, so I asked if the poor dear was in pain.
Mr B - Oh!
Jenga - *relaxes and resumes reading his pamphlet*

*a long moment of silence apart from the sound of 'kissy' noises from the Brewers (and the whistle of Jenga breathing through his broken nose)*

Mrs B - Thats enough now dear. We dont want to make jenga feel uncomfortable.
Jenga - *thinks.... "Too Late!"*
Mr B - Yes dear.
Mrs B - *a low whisper* What is he reading?
Mr B - *whispers* A pamphlet dear.
Mrs B - *sighs, rolls her eyes and whispers* I know that dear, but what is it?
Mr B - *whispers* I will ask him dear.
Jenga - *looks up as Mister Brewer approaches him*
Mr B - So... what are you reading Jenga? Anything good? *looks at the pamphlet which is resting on Jengas lap*
Jenga - It'th a pamphlet.
Mr B - *sighs and rolls his eyes* I know that, but what is it about?
Jenga - It'th about theveral prothpective job opportunitieth for halflingth.
Mr B - Pardon?
Mrs B - Are you thinking of leaving us Jenga? *shocked*
Jenga - I am jutht looking at my opthionth.
Mr B - What did he say?
Mrs B - He said its a pamphlet about job opportunities for halflings. I do wish you would listen dear.

*a short moment of silence as Jenga tries to turn the pamphlet over, but his 2 broken arms will not reach to the paper in his lap*

Mrs B - have you found anything interesting?
Mr B - I have, and i am looking at her. *winks at his wife*
Mrs B - Not you dear. I was talking to Jenga.
Mr B - Oh.
Jenga - I have theen two jobth whitcthh theem interethting.
Mr B - *blinks*
Mrs B - Really? What are they?
Jenga - The firtht one is for a newth vendor. I would be employed to thtand in one of the thities and thhout the top newth thtories.
Mr B - *scratches his head and looks at his wife for help*
Mrs B - He said he was looking as a News vendor.
Mr B - In the village?
Mrs B - No, in one of the human cities I assume.
Mr B - Oh.

*short moments silence*

Mrs B - And the other job?
Jenga - It'th in the Thire.
Mrs B - Oh? What is it?
Jenga - They have vacanthieth for the pothithion of therriff. It thoundth like an ideal job although i think it may be a little dangerouth.
Mr B - *blinks* What did he say dear?
Mrs B - *sighs* He said its not easy being a cop.
Mr B - Thats his problem isn't it?
Mrs B - I would have thought so.

*silence fills the bar area briefly*

Mr B - I love you dear.
Mrs B - I love you too dear.
Jenga *watches in horror as a draught lifts the pamphlet from his lap and promptly posts it in between two floorboards*
Mr B - I love you more than you love me.
Mrs B - Thats not possible dear because I love you more than Marcus loves flapjacks.
Mr B - *starts singing, slightly off key* You are my flapjacks. My only flapjacks. You make me haappyyy, when skies are grey.
Jenga *twitches*
Mr & Mrs B - *sing in harmony* You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my flapjacks away.

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*Mister & Missus Brewer are standing idly behind the bar. Jenga enters the tavern for his shift*

Mr B - Jenga, you are late.
Jenga - Sorry Mister B, I had the casts removed today. I did tell you yesterday.
Mrs B - He did dear.
Mr B - Did he?
Mrs B - He did.
Jenga - *nods*
Mr B - I suppose he mumbled as usual. How am i supposed to hear him if he mumbles?
Mrs B - Well I heard him.
Jenga - You were cleaning the windows Mister B.
Mr B - Cleaning the windows? Yesterday? I didn't clean the windows yesterday.
Mrs B - Yes you did dear.
Jenga - You did Mister B.
Mr B - Did I?
Mrs B - You did dear.
Jenga - *nods*

*a moments silence as Jenga removes his hat and cloak and assume his position behind the bar*

Mr B - Are you sure I cleaned the windows?
Mrs B - Yes dear.
Jenga - You commented on how Mrs Gardeners skirt blew up in that gust of wind Mister B. Remember?
Mrs B - Did he?? *scowls*
Jenga - *nods*
Mr B - I never did. *suddenly remembering*
Jenga - You did Mister B. You even said that her bloomers looked like somethin' a longshanks made.
Mr B - *blushes*
Mrs B - *scowls harder*
Jenga - Then you said that her legs were...
Mr B - Yes yes Jenga. We get the point.
Mrs B - Do we? *folding her arms across her chest*
Mr B - We do dear. *avoiding her gaze*

*a moments awkward silence follows*

Jenga - I remember, because I said....
Mr B - For the love of Marcus, stop!
Mrs B - Continue Jenga.
Mr B - Do NOT continue Jenga.

*Jenga feels all eyes staring at him*

Jenga - I suddenly dont fell well Mister B.
Mr B - Really? Maybe you should take the rest of the day off.
Jenga - Righto Mister B. *grabs his hat and cloak and races for the door*
Mrs B - STOP...right...there.
Jenga - *freezes with his hand on the door handle*
Mrs B - Maybe you can tell me what my husband said... before you go!
Jenga - *eyes wide, hesitates*
Mrs B - Go on. Speak.

*sound of the back door slamming shut as Mister Brewer makes a hasty exit*

Mrs B - *spins tound to see her husband has vanished* Where'd he go?
Jenga - Scarpered Missus B. *slams the front door behind him as he escapes*
Mrs B - *scowls*

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*Its a quiet day in the Brewers Droop. Missus Brewer is standing behind the bar, but she isnt talking to Mister Brewer. Mister Brewer is making fishing flys behind the bar, but he isnt talking to Jenga. Jenga is sitting on a stool examining a large green ball, and is trying not to to be caught in the Brewers argument.*

Mrs B - Jenga....
Jenga - Yes Mrs B?
Mrs B - Can you tell my husband that he is NOT going fishing today?
Jenga - *frowns and sighs* Yes Mrs B.
Mr B - *looks up from his fly making equipment and scowls at Jenga*
Jenga - Mrs B says...
Mr B - I can hear you..... Dear!
Jenga - He heard you Mrs B.
Mrs B - Good. Then you can also tell him that IF he slips out while i am not looking, his dinner will be in the cat!.
Jenga - *sighs* Mrs B said....
Mr B - I am not deaf.

*an awkward silence fills the tavern. Jenga resumes examining the large green ball.*

Mr B - Its been days dear. how long are you going to keep this up?
Mrs B - Can you tell my husband that I am not answering his questions right now jenga?!
Jenga - Mrs B asked me to tell you that....
Mr B - You can be ever so childish when you want to be.
Mrs B - I know you can, but what am I? *snaps at Mister Brewer*
Mr B - *scowls and mutters something under his breath*
Mrs B - What was that?
Mr B - Nothing dear. *ties some small feathers to a hook*
Mrs B - What did he say? *to Jenga*
Jenga - *drops the green ball with a scared expression*
Mrs B - Well?
Jenga - Did he... say... something? *failed bluff roll*
Mrs B - Don't you act the innocent with Me Jenga Gamesake.
Jenga - *whimpers and scuttles under the table after the large green ball*
Mrs B - *turning her wrath on her husband* What did you say?
Mr B - I said you look lovely today dear. *not even trying to be convincing*

*another awkward silence fills the room, apart from the angry mutterings of Missus brewer. Jenga remains under the table*

Mrs B - *opens a drawer and slams it shut again*
Mr B - *examines his newest fly*
Mrs B - *Picks up a pewter tankard and slams it on the counter*
Mr B - *holds the new fly up to the light and inspects it more closely*
Mrs B - *snatches a bottle of wine from the shelf and pulls the cork out with her teeth*
Mr B - Maybe i should dye the feathers a brighter color. *not to anyone in particular*
Mrs B - Maybe i should dye you a different color. Scarlet springs to mind. *pours herself a full tankard of wine*
Mr B - Well, if I'm scarlet dear, then jenga must be yellow. *points to the table Jenga is hiding beneath*
Jenga - huh? *alarmed at his name being dragged into the arhument again*
Mrs B - Leave Jenga out of this. If he wants to play with his cheese, let him.
Mr B - Is that what it is? Cheese?
Mrs B - Well, what did you think it was? A hat? *sarcastically*
Mr B - I thought it was a ball.

*a short silence as Missus Brewer starts drinking her wine and Mister Brewer starts making a new fly*

Mr B - Why is the cheese green?
Mrs B - Jenga.... will you tell my husband I am not...
Mr B - ..not answering my questions. Okay, i get it.
Jenga - *relieved*
Mr B - *sighs and gives in* Okay, okay.... Jenga....?
Jenga - Yes Mister B?
Mr B - Why are you carrying a large ball of green cheese?
Jenga - *emerges from under the table* Its my entry for the cheese festival Mister B.
Mr B - The cheese festival?
Jenga - Yes mister B. Its a festival where they have lots of...
Mr B - ...cheese?
Jenga - Yes mister B.

*short silence*

Mr B - But why is it green?
Jenga - Its covered in green wax mister B.
Mrs B - *rolls eyes* He thought the actual cheese was green? Whoever heard of green cheese?
Jenga - *thinks of a few green cheeses but keeps quiet*
Mr B - *thinks of a few green cheeses, but keeps quiet.*

*silence*

Mr B - So... do we get to try a bit of it? On some crackers?
Jenga - Its for the festival Mister B.
Mrs B - Don't be so mean Jenga. I will get some crackers and we can all try your cheese.
Jenga - But its for the...
Mrs B - Get some crackers dear. *to her husband*
Mr B - Yes dear. *puts down his fly making equipment and hurries to the cracker tin*
Jenga - *sighs and hands the cheese ball to Missus B*

*a short silence as Mister B returns with a tin full of crackers and Missus B cuts into the cheese ball. An ungodly aroma arises instantly*

Mrs B - In the name of....
Mr B - MY EYES! *blinks as the stench makes his eyes stream with water*
Mrs B - By all that is holy.... *gags*
Jenga - It is a very mature cheese. Its been resting for three years.
Mr B - Resting? It smells like its died and been buried at sea!!
Jenga - *frowns*
Mr B - What is in that stuff?
Jenga - Well... you know pork pies?
Mr B - Yes....
Jenga - You know you can get pork pies with a whole hard-boiled egg in the middle?
Mrs B - Yes....
Jenga - *points at the green cheese* It has an egg... in the middle...
Mr B - *retches*
Mrs B - *gags*
Jenga - *nibbles on a cracker*

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*Mister and Missus Brewer are having a romantic walk in the fields to the north of the village. Following the river, they walk in each others embrace. Jenga is back at the tavern...coping*

Mrs B - What a beautiful sunny day.
Mr B - Yes dear.
Mrs B - We should do this more often. *rests her head on his shoulder as they walk*
Mr B - Maybe you could come fishing with me sometimes dear.
Mrs B - *thinks* Maybe not dear.
Mr B - Why not?
Mrs B - I dont like seeing you getting stressed.
Mr B - *stops walking* I do NOT get stressed. Fishing relaxes me.
Mrs B - Yes dear. Of course it does dear. *rolls her eyes*
Mr B - Whats that supposed to mean?
Mrs B - I am just agreeing with you dear.

*Back at the tavern, Jenga is in the kitchen preparing a meal order from Nurse Fleetfoot*

Jenga - *fans the flames* Oh Marcus, what do i do?
Nurse Fleetfoot - *calls out* Is everything allright back there?
Jenga - Yes! *unconvincingly*
Nurse Fleetfoot - Only... I can smell smoke.
Jenga - Everythings under control !! *pats the flames out on his sleeve*

*Meanwhile, the brewers are settling for their picnic.*

Mrs B - Here, by this tree. It looks perfect.
Mr B - I couldn't agree more. Absolutely perfect. *glances at the river*
Mrs B - Well, give me the basket then.
Mr B - Hmm?
Mrs B - The picnic basket?
Mr B - Oh yes, of course dear. Here you go. *hands her the picnic basket*
Mrs B - *unpacks a blanket and spreads it upon the ground, and then sets about laying out plates, cups and food of all descriptions.
Mr B - I wish i had brought my rod.
Mrs B - Pardon dear?
Mr B - I said, this place is fit for a God!
Mrs B - *smiles* Or a Goddess.
Mr B - Hmm? Oh, yes.
Mrs B - What are you looking at dear?
Mr B - Oh, just the river sweetness. The water is so clear here that I can see the bottom. *staring at the fish in the river*
Mrs B - How many?
Mr B - Oh, lots dear.
Mrs B - Pardon?
Mr B - *looks at his wife and sees she is holding sausage rolls* Oh! Just two please dear.

*Back at the tavern....*

Jenga - *throws a bucket of water on the stove*
Nurse Fleetfoot - *from the bar area* Are you sure everything is allright?
Jenga - Absolutely fine! Couldn't be better!
Nurse Fleetfoot - I am coming out there.
Jenga - NO!!! *quickly tries to fan the black smoke out of the open window* Stay there. Its almost ready.
Nurse Fleetfoot - *does what she is told and waits by the bar, listening to the whimpers from the kitchen*

*at the picnic*

Mrs B - Any more cake dear?
Mr B - Maybe just a small slice.
Mrs B - *cuts a small slice of cherry cake and puts it on his plate*
Mr B - *takes a bite of his cake* Do you have any string dear?
Mrs B - String?
Mr B - *looking at the fish*
Mrs B - Whatever do you want string for?
Mr B - Oh, nothing. It doesn't matter dear.
Mrs B - I have a ball of wool dear. Will that do? *pulls her knitting set from the picnic basket*
Mr B - You brought your knitting?
Mrs B - Well.... yes dear.
Mr B - But i thought it was supposed to be time for us.
Mrs B - It is dear, but I just brought it along in case i got bored.
Mr B - *offended* Bored?
Mrs B - Oh, you know what I mean. You might get distracted by something, and if you do... then i have my knitting to keep me amused.
Mr B - Distracted? I dont get distr.... Did you see the size of THAT!? *points at a fish jumping*
Mrs B - Precisely.

*meanwhile, jenga is leaving the kitchen with a plate of dark brown and black 'stuff'.*

Jenga - One cheese salad.
Nurse Fleetfoot - *blinks*

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*Mister Brewer and Jenga are behind the bar, cleaning. Missus Brewer is out, shopping. The bar area looks almost immaculate.*

Mr B - Don't leave any spots uncleaned Jenga. This is my chance..... OUR chance, to get in my wifes good books. For once.
Jenga - Yes Mister B... erm, I mean No Mister B. *polishes the bar*
Mr B - Are you using the good beeswax?
Jenga - Yes Mister B.
Mr B - *sweeping the floor* Remember to polish in circular motions Jenga.
Jenga - Will do, Mister B.
Mr B - *sweeps the dirt into a pile by the skirting board*
Jenga - I can see my face in this bar Mister B.
Mr B - Thats good Jenga. *stoops down and prises a loose section of the skirting away, revealing a hole*
Jenga - Do I polish the tables now Mister B?
Mr B - Yes please Jenga. *sweeps the pile of dirt into the hole*
Jenga - I will start with the mushroom table by the door Mister B.
Mr B - Allright. Just remember to use plenty of beeswax and a lot of elbow grease. *pushes the skirting board back into place*
Jenga - Where do you keep the elbow grease Mister B?
Mr B - Hmm?
Jenga - The elbow grease. Is it kept in the same cupboard as the beeswax, because i didn't see any.
Mr B - *deep sigh and opens his mouth to explain bur gets distracted by the skirting board falling away with a clatter* Oh....now why did it do that?
Jenga - *head buried in a cupboard* Why did what do what Mister B?
Mr B - Why did the.... *stops speaking as a dusty mouse clambers from the hole, coughing.*
Jenga - Theres brass polish, silver polish, some smelly candles and incense sticks.... but no elbow grease. Ah... whats this?
Mr B - *stares at the mouse in astonishment*
Mouse - Atishoo
Jenga - No... this isn't it. Its Pilchard Oil. Would this work Mister B?
Mr B - *quietly* Fetch me a broom Jenga.
Jenga - Its in your hand Mister B.
Mr B - Hmm? Oh... *raises the broom slowly above his head*
Mouse - Atishoo *looks up* Squeak!!!
Jenga - *pours some pilchard oil onto the table and starts rubbing it into the wood*
Mr B - *swings the broom down at the mouse, thudding it onto the floor*
Mouse - *dodges* SQUEAK!!
Mr B -*swings again, catching the chandelier and bringing it down*
Mouse - *dodges and clambers up the shelves behind the bar*
Mr B - *takes a horizontal swing and swipes all the bottles off the middle shelf with a shattering noise*
Mouse - *dodges and leaps onto the bar*
Mr B - *drops the broom and lunges at the mouse with both hands*
Jenga - Are you allright Mister B?
Mouse - *attempts to dodge* Squeak??
Mr B - *closes his hands around the mouse* I got it!.
Jenga - Got what Mister B?
Mr B - *screams* Its biting me!
Jenga - *alarmed*
Mr B - Open the door. *screams* QUICK.
Jenga - *drops the pilchard oil and rag on the floor* Which door Mister B?
Mr B - *screams and starts to run around in a panic* Front door... quickly!!
Jenga - *runs to the front door*
Mr B - *runs to the front door clutching the angry, scared, aggressive mouse* Aaagh!!
Jenga - *opens the door*
Mrs B - Oh, thankyou Jenga. *standing in the doorway holding a big bag of shopping*
Mr B - *throws the mouse through the door*
Jenga - *slams the door shut*

*from outside the door, Missus Brewer can be heard screaming*

Jenga - I guess we wont be in Mrs B's good books this week either Mister B
Mister B - *faints*
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*Jenga is having a day off due to a panic attack. Mister Brewer is away on a fishing trip and Missus Brewer is behind the bar with her temporary barmaid, Nurse Fleetfoot. Due to Nurse Fleetfoot working in the Brewers Droop, some 'newly-reacquainted' distant cousins from overseas have visited to wish her luck.*

Dingus Fleetfoot - Sure is a nice place you have here.
Nurse Fleetfoot - Its not my tavern.
Dingus Fleetfoot - It sure looks like a tavern though.

*in walks a blind hin traveller*

Blind Traveller - Can I have a Barley Wine please.
Nurse Fleetfoot - Coming right up. *goes to the shelves and slowly starts searching through the bottles for a barley Wine*
Blind Traveller - Can I speak with whoever owns the tavern? I am a travelling comedian and I would like to perform here.
Missus Brewer - This is my tavern. *cleaning a glass* Perhaps you could tell us a joke, so we can all hear how good you are before I agree to a performance.
Blind Traveller - Very well Miss. How about I start with a Fleetfoot joke?
Missus Brewer - *astonished* Oh... well... before you do.... Maybe you should know that our current Barmaid is a Fleetfoot. Also, at the table behind you is a very strong halfling with two blackened eyes. Seated next to him is his brother who has a really big dog. Then to your left are Dingus and Moronica, the famous knife jugglers from Port City. All of them are Fleetfoots, and they are all extremely drunk. Are you sure you want to tell a Fleetfoot joke?
Blind Traveller - No, not if i am going to have to explain it five times.
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-----------------------------------------

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*Its a very hot day in the village. In fact it is so hot that Missus Brewer has set up some tables outside the tavern. Mister Brewer is still on his fishing trip. Jenga is inside the tavern and overheating, whilst Missus Brewer is seated at one of the garden tables, enjoying the sun and a book*

Hunni Pye - *sipping water from the wells bucket* The water tastes funny today.
Mrs B - *looks up from her book and slides her sunglasses to the end of her nose* Pardon dear?
Hunni Pye - The water.... it tastes..... different. *stares into the well*
Mrs B - Its probably just warm dear.
Hunni Pye - No.... Its ice cold as usual.
Mrs B - Have you eaten something? That could be leaving a taste in your mouth.
Hunni Pye - Well... I had a bowl of oats for second breakfast, with some honey to sweeten it.
Mrs B - *chuckles*
Hunni Pye - Whats funny?
Mrs B - Nothing dear. *still chuckling*
Hunni Pye - Did i say something amusing?
Mrs B - *nods* You said.... Well.... and you are talking about a well.
Hunni Pye - *scowls* Its not that funny.
Mrs B - Sorry dear. After living with my husband, I have to take humour wherever i find it.
Hunni Pye - *scowls and sips the water again, grimacing* Eeew, there is definately something wrong with this water.
Mrs B - *sighs and walks over to the well*

There is a brief moment of silence as the two females stare into the wells blackness

Mrs B - I can't see anything down there. Can you?
Hunni Pye - Well...
Mrs B - *giggles*
Hunni Pye - .....It is a bit too dark to see down there.
Mrs B - I have an idea Hunni. *walks to the tavern door and pokes her head inside* JEEEENNNNGAAAA! COME HERE A MOMENT PLEASE. *walks back to the well*
Jenga - *appearing at the door* Yes Missus B? *sweat pouring from him*
Mrs B - Can you go down the well please Jenga? Miss Pye thinks the water tastes odd. It would set her mind at rest if you went down there.
Jenga - *blinks* Down the well Missus B?
Mrs B - Yes please Jenga.
Jenga - Well....
Hunni - *giggles*
Mrs B - *chuckles*
Jenga - ....couldn't you just tie a torch to the buckets rope instead? Then you could see if there was anything down there from here.
Mrs B - But the rope would catch fire and the bucket would fall.
Hunni - Pleeeeaaase Jengykins. *flutters her eyes*
Jenga - *sighs and reluctantlylowers himself over the side of the well8
Hunni - *smiles at Jenga*
Jenga - *slips and plummets into the blackness with a loud splash* AaaaaAAaaaaAagh.
Mrs B - Is there anything down there jenga?
Jenga - AaAAAAAaaaAaaahhhh *screams*
Mrs B - Jenga?
Jenga - *splashes and screams from the blackness* AAAaaaHH!! aaAAAAHH!!!
Hunni - Dont worry Jengykins. I will save you. *throws the bucket back into the well and watches it descend into the darkness, the rope trailing behind*

*CLUNK... SPLASH*

Hunni - Jengy?

silence

Mrs B - Jenga?

silence

Hunni - *getting distressed* Jengykins??
Jenga - *moans* My head. Something hit me on my head.
Hunni - Poor Jengy..... but is there anything down there?
Mrs B - Yes.... did you find anything?
Jenga - *whimpers* Well.... yes.
Hunni & Mrs B - *giggles*
Jenga - I think its that blind comedian.... he's dead. Drowned, I think.
Mrs B - *faints*
Hunni - *vomits*
Jenga - Can you pull me up now please Missus B?

silence apart from the sound of vomiting*

Jenga - Missus B?
Hunni - I dont feel too good Jengy. *wanders home with a pale complexion*
Jenga - Miss Pye? Missus B?

silence

*a short moment later, Moronica Fleetfoot wanders up to the well.*
Jenga - Is somebody there?
Moronica - *climbs the steps to the well*
Jenga - Hello-o??
Moronica - The privvy is occupied! Wait yer turn. *hanging her rear end over the well*
Jenga - Has it started raining?
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-----------------------------------------

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*Mister and Missus Brewer are both on vacation, looking for a place called Peony Falls. The tavern, in their absence, has been left with Jenga and Nurse Fleetfoot. The High Priestess is in the tavern conducting the wake speech for a travelling comedian who was recently discovered in the well, drowned. The whole of the village has turned up."

Priestess - ...and so it has come to pass that this traveller has joined the great feast of marcus. May his flapjacks be filled with goodness. Does anybody wish to say any words?
Dingus Fleetfoot - *raises hand*
Priestess - Yes Dingus.
Dingus - *holding a valentine card* Are there any halfling nuns in the village?
Priestess - *confused* Erm... no Dingus. There are none.
Dingus - *looks at the card*
Priestess - Does nobody wish to say anything about this ill-fated traveller?
Dingus - *raises hand*
Priestess - Yes Dingus?
Dingus - Are there any halfling nuns in Annakolia?
Priestess - No Dingus, there are none. *gives Dingus a confused look*
Dingus - *looks at the card again*
Priestess - If nobody wishes to say anything, then maybe we should...
Dingus - *raises hand*
Priestess - *sighs* YES!?
Dingus - How about Galandar then? Are there any halfling nuns in Galandar?
Priestess - *losing patience* No, there are not. There are no halfling nuns in the village, or in Annakolia. Nor are there any in Galandar, or indeed anywhere. There are NO Halfling nuns!

a brief moment of silence

The entire Fleetfoot family- *chants* Dingus dated a Penguin. Dingus dated a penguin.
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

~It is a peaceful day in the Brewers Droop Tavern. Mister and Missus Brewer are expected home from their vacation, so the entire Fleetfoot family are busy cleaning the tavern. Dingus is cleaning tables, Nurse Fleetfoot is tending the bar with Jenga Gamesake. Cousin Lucy (a male halfling...but thats another story) is cleaning the windows. Moronica is tasting the various fruitjuices.~

Nurse - Don't forget the table over there Dingus.
Dingus - What about it?
Nurse - It still needs cleaning.
Dingus - Righto. *stops cleaning the table he is working on*
Nurse - Finish that table first.
Dingus - Which one.
Nurse - The one you are doing.
Dingus - Righto. *returns to the original table and immediately forgets all mention of the other table*

*a busy silence*

Moronica - *sips a fruitjuice and muses a moment* This one is safe.
Nurse - Jenga, can you go into the cellar and get me the long feather duster please?
Jenga - Yes Missus F. *vanishes into the cellar*
Moronica - *sips another fruitjuice, swills it between her teeth and swallows* This one is safe.
Jenga - *returns from the cellar holding a feather duster with a very long handle* Here you are Missus F.
Nurse - Could you dust the rafters with it please Jenga.
Jenga - Certainly Missus F.

*a busy silence*

Lucy - *steps back from the window* Windows are done Cous'. Do ya' want me to do anythin' else?
Nurse - Yes please. Can you make sure the piano is dust free and in tune.
Lucy. - I'm on it Cous'.
Nurse - You know how to tune a piano...right?
Lucy - I'm like an abacus.

*confused silence as Moronica, Dingus, Jenga and Nurse Fleetfoot all stare at Lucy*

Lucy - You can count on me!
Nurse - *smiles as she understands the pun*
Jenga - Thats clever. *nods in appreciation of the pun*
Dingus - Whats an abacus?
Jenga - Its something that you use for counting.
Moronica - Sticks.
Jenga - What?
Moronica - I use sticks for counting.
Jenga - Oh, i see. *starts dusting the rafters with the feather duster with a long handle*
Moronica - Of course, it doesn't work in the dark.
Dingus - Why not use a lantern?
Moronica - Good idea. I could set the ends of the sticks on fire that way.
Dingus - Exactly. Problem solved.
Jenga - *decides not to say anything*

*busy silence*

Lucy - *plink plink plink plinky plink* (testing the piano keys)
Moronica - *sips a fruitjuice*
Jenga - The rafters are done Missus F. Shall I put the duster away?
Moronica - *grimaces*
Nurse - Yes please Jenga.
Jenga -*descends into the cellar*
Moronica - *spits the juice into the glass* Tomato Juice is off.
Nurse - *calls down into the cellar* Can you find a fresh batch of tomato juice Jenga? The ones up here have spoiled.
Jenga - *calls up* Yes Missus F.
Lucy - *plinky plinky plinky plink plink plinky plink*

*brief silence*
Moronica - At least... I think its off. My tastebuds aren't what they used to be.
Nurse - Oh, you mean since I said you were.... *trails off and gives moronica a meaningful glance*
Moronica - Yeah.
Dingus - Is she ill?
Nurse - You mean she hasn't told you?
Dingus - Well, i don't know. If you tell me what it is, then maybe i will remember if she told me or not.
Nurse - Its not my job to tell you. Its your sisters.
Dingus - Whats wrong sis?
Moronica - *takes a deep breath* Well, I was going to what before I announced it, but...
Lucy - plinky plinky plink plonk...... plonk plonk plonk

*at this moment, Jenga returns from the cellar. At the exact same moment, the front door opens and in walks Mister and Missus Brewer loaded with luggage and smiling*

Moronica - I am expecting a baby. I wanted to speak to the father first, before i announced it, but he just entered the room so I guess everyone knows now.
Missus Brewer - *loses her smile immediately and glares at her husband, dropping a suitcase on his foot*
Jenga - *drops the crate of tomato juice and faints*
Lucy - Dun Dun Daaah
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

~In our last thrilling installment, The Brewers had just returned home to the village to hear the announcement of Moronicas 'condition'. Cousin Lucy was playing the piano when Moronica announced the father had just entered the room. Mister Brewer had recieved a suitcase to the foot, and a glare that would stop the hearts of many a male from his wife. Jenga, had fainted.~

Mister B - *howls in pain* Owie. What did you do that for?
Mrs B - You cheating little worm. *picks up a chair*
Mister B - *backs away* Put the chair down dear...... DEAR!!!
Dingus - Where do you think you are going Mister B? You are going to make an honest halfling of my sister.
Mister B - What?? *shrieks*
Dingus - No sister of mine has a child out of wedlock. It aint the fleetfoot way. *pounds a fist into his palm threateningly*
Mister B - But.... but... I never even...
Mrs B - *throws the chair at her husband and reaches for a vase*
Mister B - Aaagh. You've gone crazy. Stop it. *rubs his leg where the feebly thrown chair hit*
Mrs B - Hell has no fury like that of a maiden scorned. *throws the vase at her husband, hitting him on the shoulder*
Mister B - *screams and runs to the far side of the giant mushroom shaped table*
Mrs B - *runs into the kitchen*
Dingus - Well? Are you going to marry my sister or do i have to get all brotherly on your nose?
Mister B- What? That doesn't even make sense.
Nurse Fleetfoot - Stop! Stop! I cannot stand here and watch this aggressive behaviour....
Mister B - Yes. Listen to her. Listen to her.
Nurse - ....so i am going home. Nice to see you got back safely Mister Brewer. *smiles and leaves the tavern*
Mister B - What!? No! Oh Saint Marcus preserve me.

*at this point Missus Brewer returns from the kitchen wielding a skillet and wailing like a banshee as she charges at her husband*

Mister B - *shrieks and runs round the table*
Mrs B - *lets out a battlecry and gives chase*
Dingus - *follows Mrs Brewer whilst shouting things like...* You marry my sister or I'm gonna batter you like a fish.
Cousin Lucy - *plays some chase music on the piano*

*the chase continues for a fair while, as Mister Brewer tactically picks a route between the tables and flees for his life, whilst dodging a skillet*

Moronica - But i dont want to marry Mister Brewer. *pouts* I want to marry the father of my baby.
Mister B - See! *the skillet clangs round his head* OUCH!
Dingus - What?
Mrs B - Then my husband isn't the father?
Moronica - No.
Mrs B - But you said...
Mr B - *rubbing the side of his face* I tried to tell you dear.
Dingus - So, who is the father?

*Jenga clambers to his feet clutching his head and still feeling a little faint*
Mrs B - *stares at Jenga*
Mr B - *glares at Jenga*
Dingus - *scowls at jenga and starts punding a fist into his palm again, threateningly*
Moronica - *smiles at Jenga and points at him* He is.

Lucy - *plays the wedding march*
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*The following day, Nurse Fleetfoot is summoned to the Brewers Droop*

Mister B - Nurse... Nurse... My wife broke my foot in three places.
Nurse Fleetfoot - Well, don't take her to those places.
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*Mister Brewer is busy sawing a little of the length from three table legs. Jenga is standing idly by, holding the toolbox. Missus Brewer is out.... shopping!*

Mr B - Oh, by Slick Jims eyepatch, I have sawn too much off this leg. Now I am going to have to do the others to match.
Jenga - Right you are, Mister B.
Mr B - *starts sawing*

*from outside, there is a loud crunching noise, a whinny, a female voice cussing and suddenly the door flies open revealing an angry Missus Brewer*

Mrs B - *to jenga* You might want to make yourself scarce. I am just about to put that toolbox where the sun doesnt shine. *looking at her hsuband*
Mr B - Hello dear. Did you have a nice day shopping?
Jenga - *slowly puts the toolbox down and backs away to a safe distance*
Mrs B - Don't you 'Dear' me. You moved the mailbox, didnt you!
Mr B - *sawing* Pardon dear?
Mrs B - I said... You moved the mailbox!
Mr B - In a minute dear. Let me do one job at a time.
Mrs B - *grabs her husbands ear and pulls him to the doorway, hauling him outside*
Mr B - Owowowowowow OW!!!

*High on a hill was a lowly fleetfoot. Moronica, in the orchard above the village, placed an apple on a mound of soil, picked up a stick and swung the stick at the apple.... missing!*
Moronica - One!

Back in the village....
Mrs B - *lets go of her husbands ear and points accusatively at a mangled mailbox* THAT, is YOUR fault.
Mr B - *rubbing his ear* How is that my fault dear? *looks at the nearby cart, the limping pony and the shed cartload of shopping*
Mrs B - I backed the cart into it.
Mr B - But...
Mrs B - If you hadn't put the mailbox there, none of this would have happened.
Mr B - But...
Mrs B - So what have you got to say for yourself?
Mr B - But the mailbox has been there for 15 years dear.

*High on the hill was that lowly fleetfoot. She took another swing at the apple..... missing again.*
Moronica - Two!

*Back in the village....*

Mrs B - *scowls* I dont care how long it has been there. I told you I wanted it the other side of the door.
Mr B - The other side of the door? You mean inside the tavern dear?
Mrs B - NO, you blundering longshank-brained.... *trails off into a list of expletitives*
Mr B - Pardon dear? *alarmed*
Mrs B - I mean the other side of the doorway.
Mr B - I think the horse has a limp.
Mrs B - What?
Mr B - You gave the horse a limp.
Mrs B - I will give you a limp if you dont move that mailbox.

*High on the hill, Moronica Fleetfoot takes another swing at the apple and misses once more.*
Moronica - THREE! *angrily*

*Back in the village....*

Mr B - I still dont see how this is my fault, dear.
Mrs B - *glares at her husband*
Mr B - It was you that was in control of the cart, dear. The mailbox has been there for 15 years, and i would have thought you had seen it there at least once in that time....
Mrs B - *glares harder*
Mr B - ....preferably when you were reversing the cart.
Mrs B - Just..... Move.... It!
Mr B - *sighs* Yes dear.
Mrs B - *picks up her shopping and walks into the tavern*
Mr B - *mutters and pulls the mailbox out of the ground, revealing a small hole from the post*........ Females! *pauses*... Did i hear someone shout Four?
*At this point, an apple drops from the sky hitting Mister Brewer squarely on the back of the head and bouncing into the small hole in the ground. Mister Brewer collapses unconcious on the floor*

*High on the hill, the lowly Fleetfoot places another apple on the mound of earth and swings the stick. She misses.*
Moronica - One!
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Moronica is seated at the bar with her new triplets. Jenga is behind the bar, looking extremely glum. Dingus Fleetfoot bursts in after travelling for several months.

Dingus - HEY! You'll never guess what I gone and done.
Moronica - You've got a job?
Dingus - I've got a jo.... Hey, that's not fair! I wanted you to get it wrong.
Moronica - Where are you working Dingus?
Dingus - I can't tell you. It's a secret.
Moronica - Oh. So what job is it?
Dingus - *proudly* Chef!
Moronica - But Dingus, you don't know how to cook.
Dingus - How hard can it be, cousin? One mushroom is the same as another.
Moronica - True.
Jenga - *horrified* No they are not! Some mushrooms are deadly!
Moronica - No they ain't.
Jenga - They are!
Dingus - Don't you raise your voice to my cousin, Jingo.
Jenga - I am not.
Dingus - You are.
Jenga - Am not!
Moronica - Don't argue with Dingus, Jenga.
Jenga - I wasn't.
Dingus - You were.
Jenga -*sighs and rubs his temples*

A moments silence

Dingus - So, how about it then cousin?
Moronica - How about what, cousin?
Dingus - Are you coming too?
Moronica - Where?
Dingus - I ain't allowed to say. Its secret.
Moronica - I can't Dingus. I got to look after Jenga. We still have the wedding date to fix and....
Jenga - Why not sweetest? You go with your cousin and have fun. I will be allright.
Moronica - Thats nice of you Jenga but...
Jenga - I insist. You deserve to travel a bit. Really.... I will be fine.
Moronica - *frowns* Are you trying to get rid of me?
Jenga - No!.... No, no, no no, no, no, NO. I just want what is best for you dearest. Go and spend some time with Dingus. You have missed him so much.
Moronica - *smiles* You are too good for me, Jenga Gamesake.
Jenga - I know.... erm... I mean, Not at all sweetest cherub of mine. *pushing her toward the door* You had better go home and pack. The ship leaves soon, and you don't want to miss it.
Dingus - No need. I packed yer stuff already Cousin.
Jenga - Brilliant thinking Dingus. *genuinely surprised those three words fitted together in a sentence*
Moronica - I will write to you Jengie..... just as soon as I learn how.
Jenga - I will await your sweet words my beautiful.
Moronica - Dingus, give him our address.
Dingus - I can't. It's a secret.
Jenga - Look... there's the ship. Run, before you miss it.

*Dingus and Moronica run for the ship, Jenga eagerly waving them goodbye. As the ship sets sail with the two Fleetfoot cousins aboard, Jenga breathes a deep sigh of relief and wanders into the tavern feeling happier than he had felt since they had arrived in the village.*

*Mrs Brewer is behind the bar*

Mrs Brewer - Where did you get to, Jenga? You left the bar unattended.
Jenga - I was just saying goodbye to Moronica.
Mrs B - Moronica has left the village?
Jenga - *trying to contain has happiness* Yes! I am 'without fleetfoot'.
Mrs B - Didn't she want to take the children with her?
Jenga - *loses his smile and spins round to see 3 babies*
Unnamed Baby One - Waaah!
Unnamed Baby Two - Waaaah. Waaaahh
Unnamed Baby Three - WAAAAAHHHH!!!
Jenga - *twitches*
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

*Missus Brewer walks into the bathroom, where her husband is sat in the bath playing with a wooden duck.*

Mr B - Quack-uack-uack. Dive, duck, dive!!!
Mrs B - What are you doing?
Mr B - *startled as he did not hear her enter* I.... was.... softening the wood on this duck.... so... I... can.... erm.... get rid of the splinters on it easier?
Mrs B - Oh. Maybe thats a good idea.
Mr B - Of course its a good idea. I have lots of good ideas. For example, I married you, my sugary sweetness.
Mrs B - While you are doing that, you can sand down all the window frames.... and the bar. And then you can re-varnish.
Mr B - *sighs* Yes, dear.
Mrs B - But before that, Nurse Fleetfoot and I need to have a word with you.
Nurse Fleetfoot - Yes, its quite important.
Mr B - *startled as he did not see her enter* BY MARCUS' BUNS, WHERE DID YOU SPRING FROM? *covers his 'privacy' with the wooden duck*
Mrs B - Don't shout at the Nurse!
Mr B - I wasn't shouting at the nurse.
Mrs B - You just did!
Mr B - I did not!
Mrs B - Don't argue with me.
Mr B - I am not arguing with you, my dearest!
Mrs B - You are!
Mr B - Am not.
Mrs B - Are too.
Nurse - I have to admit, it sounds like you are arguing.
Mr B - I AM NOT ARGUING!
Mrs B - STOP SHOUTING AT THE NURSE!!
Mr B - I AM NOT SHOUTING!!!

A short moment of silence passes, in which Mister Brewer glances from his wife to the nurse and then back again.

Mr B - *calmly* So, what do I owe the pleasure of your company... in my bathroom... in the middle of my bath?
Mrs B - *a big grin appears on her face* Somone in this room is about to be a father.

at that moment, Mister Brewer releases his grip on the wooden duck and it emerges from the water at such a rate that it bashes Mr B on the nose

Mr B - A FATHER!!? But.... I'm too old to be a father again!
Mrs B - SPRINGTIDE FOOL! *bursts into laughter*
Nurse Fleetfoot - *bursts into laughter*
Mrs B - Oh, the look on your face. It was precious.
Mr B - How was that funny?
Mrs B - Its a Springtide Fool joke. They are always funny.
Nurse - *nods* You really did have a hilarious expression on your face.
Mr B - I am failing to see the funny side. And on top of that, I think Duckie just broke my nose. *winces in pain as he touches his rapidly swelling nose*
Mrs B - It was just a joke.
Mr B - Well, dearest, it was not a funny one. Perhaps you could get the Nurse to look at your funny bone as I think it may be broken.
Mrs B - Well, I can see you woke up on the grumpy side of the bed this morning. If you want me, I will be shopping! *turns and storms out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind her*
Mr B - *looks at the Nurse*
Nurse - *looks at Mr Brewer*
Mr B - GET OUT!!
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Missus Brewer is washing dishes early in the morning, before the Tavern opens for business. Her husband has gone fishing, so she is home alone when there is a knock at the door.

Mrs B - Who can that be at this early hour? *dries her hands on her skirt and opens the front door*
Stranger - *wearing a huge floppy hat and uniform, with a big moustache that almost looks fake* Is this the Brewers Droop Tavern?
Mrs B - It is.
Stranger - At last!. Do you know how hard this village is to find?
Mrs B - It's not THAT hard to find. I find it every day just by opening the curtains.
Stranger - Ahahaha. Very drole. Anyway, I have a bag of mail from the Annakol postal service for a Mrs Brewer? Would that be you?
Mrs B - Mail? For me? From Annakol?
Stranger - If you can sign here, to show you have recieved the delivery.

*The post-hin shoves a document at her with a graphite stick, and Mrs B signs. Then he goes to his pony and drags a huge sack to the door.

Mrs B - This is all for me?
Post-Hin - It is. Some of it is years old. We just didn't know how to find you, because someone forgot to put your village on a map.
Mrs B - Thankyou. *closes the door after taking the sack of mail*
Post-Hin - *grins* Thats phase one of the plan complete.

Several hours later, Mister Brewer returns to the tavern with a big grin and an even bigger fish. He hadn't caught it. The stupid fish had simply jumped from the river onto the bank, and Mister Brewer had seized the opportunity. Of course, he would tell everyone that he had battled the fish for hours to land it.... like any good fisherman.

Mr B - Hello Dear. Can you prepare this fish for supper?
Mrs B - Not tonight dear. I am going out.
Mr B - *deflated* Going out? Where?
Mrs B - A place called Dahke. Apparantly it is a wonderful place just like this.
Mr B - Where!?
Mrs B - Dahke.
Mr B - Why?
Mrs B - I got mail.
Mr B - Mail? From who?
Mrs B - Whom dear. The correct pronunciation would be 'From whom'.
Mr B - But.... I caught a fish!
Mrs B - *glances at the fish* No you didn't. Your fishing line would have snapped if you had snagged a fish that size.
Mr B - *even more deflated* But why are you going to this 'other' place?
Mrs B - I told you. I got mail.
Mr B - From who?
Mrs B - *glares*
Mr B - *sighs* From whom?
Mrs B - From my long lost Uncle. Travelling Ted.
Mr B - Whom?
Mrs B - Who.
Mr B - What?
Mrs B - In that case, the correct usage would be 'who'.
Mr B - *grits his teeth* Allright, DEAR. Who..... is Travelling Ted?
Mrs B - He's my uncle. His name is Ted and he likes to Travel. I have not seen him for years. In fact he left the village shortly before I met you.
Mr B - You have never mentioned him before.
Mrs B - Yes I have dear. Many times. I do wish you would listen.
Mr B - Hmm? *distracted by his rumbling stomach*
Mrs B - All these years I had thought he was lost, and suddenly all these letters turn up at once. It sounds like he has been to so many places and seen so many things. He says he is now in a village called Dahke and that he has over 50 million gold coins which he needs to put into a bank account, but he cannot use his own account because of some reason I didn't quite understand.
Mr B - Bank account? What is that?
Mrs B - I have no idea, but its 50 million gold dear. *a sparkle appears in her eyes* He says I can have half of it, just for putting it through my account.
Mr B - *drops his fish*
Mrs B - So, all I need to do is go to Annakol and open an account. Then go to Dahke and meet him there.
Mr B - When do we leave?
Mrs B - Pardon dear?
Mr B - When do we leave ?
Mrs B - Oh, I have strict instructions to go alone. You can't come dear.
Mr B - *even more deflated* But....
Mrs B - No arguments. Just think, when I get back, all our financial worries will be over.
Mr B - But sweetness. Its dangerous out there. *points in the general direction of the village gate.* There are things out there that are all... Grrr... and *snarls*. Besides, I only have one financial worry, and I am looking at her. *smile*
Mrs B - *sighs* Okay, you can come but when I go to meet my uncle, you will have to go fishing or something.
Mr B - *suddenly grins, happiness bursting from every pore* I will go and pack.

An hour later, a notice can be seen on the Tavern door which simply says... 'Gone Fishing. Back soon.'

As they are about to leave, Mister Brewer chuckles to himself and drops his fake post-hin uniform, floppy hat and false moustache into the cellar. 'I am beginning to like this Springtime Fool lark' he thinks to himself as he gathers his fishing equipment and loads up the cart.
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

The Brewers return from their 'fishing trip'. However, neither of them speak.
Mister Brewer slumps into a chair and cradles his broken fishing rod.
Missus Brewer storms into the kitchen and makes herself a cup of blackberry and nettle tea.

Mister B - *to himself* Stoopid Springtide Fools jokes.

Mrs Brewer returns from the kitchen, drinks her hot tea in two gulps and then turns to her husband.

Mrs B - I am going shopping and I am putting everything on your tab. Do you have a problem with that?
Mr B - Do I have a choice?
Mrs B - No.
Mr B - Dear? How long are you going to stay mad at me?
Mrs B - *takes a deep breath and gets a grip on her anger* It took you thirteen days to tell me that the whole trip was a joke! THIRTEEN days of you and your stupid fishing rod.
Mr B - My BROKEN fishing rod, you mean? *scowls accusatively at his wife*
Mrs B - You got off lightly. *glares*
Mr B - *gulp*

Mrs Brewer turns and marches out of the tavern, heading toward the market. She decided that when she got back, she would let the matter drop.... so long as her husband didnt do anything else that was stupid.

Mr B - *shouting out of the tavern window* If they have any nice fishing rods, can you pick me one up dear?
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-----------------------------------------

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Missus Brewer hurries home after a mornings shopping. She is eager to get home because, when she had left earlier, her husband was acting suspiciously 'casual'.

Entering the tavern, she is surprised to discover all the curtains are closed and the bar is in complete darkness.

Suddenly, curtains open and light floods in.

Mr B & Jenga - "Surprise!"
Mrs B - *screams* "What in the name of Marcus are you doing, jumping out on people like that?"
Mr B - "Happy Birthday Dear" *moves forward to kiss her cheek*
Jenga - "Happy Birthday Mrs B."
Mrs B - "But.... my birthday is in three months."
Mr B - "Is it? Are you sure?"
Jenga - "I told you, Mr B."
Mr B - "But.... I baked a cake!"
Mrs B - "You!? You baked!? This is something I have got to see."
Jenga - *steps to the side revealing the largest cake imaginable*

The cake is a marvel to behold. Six tiers of cake, each intricately edged with nut brittle, chocolate shells, sugared almonds and candies of all descriptions. The surface of each tier is decorated lke a picnic blanket and strewn with miniature cakes, whilst the top tier is adorned with a big candied chocolate heart.

Mrs B - *stares, mouth agape.*
Mr B - "Did we go over the top?"
Mrs B - "You made this?"
Mr B - "Yes, dear."
Mrs B - "All by yourself? You didn't get any help?"
Mr B - "Well, Jenga helped a little."
Jenga - "I held the stepladder Mrs B."
Mrs B - "I am astonished. I still remember the day you tried to barbeque ice cubes."
Mr B - "So, you like it?"
Mrs B - "I love it, dear. Oh, that reminds me.... I have a gift for you too."
Mr B - "For me, dear? *Mister Brewers eyes light up as his wife holds out a new, good quality, fishing rod.*
Mrs B - "Happy Anniversary dear."
Mr B - "Pardon dear?"
Mrs B - "Happy Anniversary."
Mr B - "When?"
Mrs B - "Today, dear. Did you forget again?"
*there is an awkward moment of silence*

Mr B - *points at the cake* Surprise!. Happy anniversary!!
Jenga - Good recovery, Mister B.
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-----------------------------------------

Halfling Heaven · World Designer/DM/Player Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 4576

Mister and Missus Brewer are sitting by the village well, looking up at the moon and stars. Hand-in-hand, they snuggle and everything seems wonderful....

Mrs B - You remember when we went to that Longshanks City?
Mr B - Pardon Dear?
Mrs B - That Longshanks City. What was it called?
Mr B - Oh, Annakol?
Mrs B - Yes, thats it.

A moments silence passes as Missus Brewer gazes at the moon, pondering and musing.

Mrs B - Which is closer, do you think? Annakol City or the Moon?
Mr B - What a silly question dear.
Mrs B - Is it?
Mr B - Well of course it is. Look at it this way....
Mrs B - *gazes at her husband and waits for words of wisdom*
Mr B - .... Can you see Annakol City?
_________________
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Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

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