[Shrieka Steinhammer's Songbook]

from Chat GPT

for the 6/19/2023 game

(Verse 1) Oh, gather 'round, lads and lasses, I'll tell you a tale so grand, 'Bout a well-hung halfling, a legend in the land. His name was Drago, a traveler of renown, From Bree he set off, for the Shire he was bound.

(Chorus) Well, he's Drago the halfling, a sight to behold, With a mighty weapon, the stories unfold. From Bree to the Shire, he roamed far and wide, With a swagger in his step and a gleam in his eye.

(Verse 2) Now, Drago was no ordinary hobbit you'd find, He had a reputation for leaving hearts behind. With a stature so small, but a charm so bold, The ladies couldn't resist, they'd do as they were told.

(Chorus) Well, he's Drago the halfling, a sight to behold, With a mighty weapon, the stories unfold. From Bree to the Shire, he roamed far and wide, With a swagger in his step and a gleam in his eye.

(Verse 3) He traveled through forests, through meadows and glades, Whispered rumors of his prowess, as his fame never fades. The lasses would giggle, the lads would stare, As Drago passed by, with a confident air.

(Chorus) Well, he's Drago the halfling, a sight to behold, With a mighty weapon, the stories unfold. From Bree to the Shire, he roamed far and wide, With a swagger in his step and a gleam in his eye.

(Verse 4) In the Shire, he arrived, a hero of lore, The hobbits were curious, they'd never seen this before. But Drago was humble, a lover at heart, He'd share his well-hung secrets, make the ladies depart.

(Chorus) Well, he's Drago the halfling, a sight to behold, With a mighty weapon, the stories unfold. From Bree to the Shire, he roamed far and wide, With a swagger in his step and a gleam in his eye.

(Outro) So here's to Drago, the well-endowed lad, From Bree to the Shire, he made the lasses go mad. His legend lives on, a tale of great size, The halfling with the weapon that brought tears to their eyes!

[Shrieka Steinhammer's Songbook]

The book of bawdy songs and terrible tales.

[Steinhammer Headquarters in Durin City]

*suddenly feels like the Bat-Cave*

Can we have poles to slide down? And a butler?

Gurly wants a large walk-in closet.

Grit would like a heated mud bath spa.

 

[Game Summary]

[November 4, 2019]

*The mysterious woman with the warm smile reads the text and makes another blood offering.  Again, she calls forth undead beings.  She ponders, wondering what component she is missing.  The beloved pets of the child called forth something more.... didnt' they?*

*She pauses, turns at the sounds from down the corridor.  She gathers her things and dashes through the zombie horde she had summoned and hides

*

 

[Horselords III: Songs of Hell]

Details coming soon.

All dates tentative.

[November 11, 2019 Prologue] Book Club

(Earlier in the day)  Aruncus rides along the North Road.  She overhears two girl rangers giggling.  Pausing to eavesdrop, she over hears them chatting about That Book.  Between the girls' giggling fits, she catches the name... Canon... and speculation he may be giving a reading during the book club later that day at the Annakol Theater.  Aruncus nudges her horse along and heads back to camp to prepare.

(later that night) It was standing room only for the event at the Annakol Theater.  Dime, Kothgar, Locks, and Smash were a few familiar faces in the crowd waiting to hear Canon.  He appears in a flash and jumps right into a reading from his book, Horselords: A Complete History.  He then moves to questions from the crowd.  Answers were.... less than insightful and he often had an out of focused look to his eye.  Aruncus appears in the back of the crowd and asks about her less than flattering portrayal.  Canon only has praise for Aruncus and calls her the heart of the Horselords, a confusing contradiction based on his writing.  Another question comes from a Mysterious Woman with a warm smile.  She asks Canon to read a passage from Chapter 1.  Canon does, but she has a follow up question: will Canon read it again, but BACKWARDS this time.  Canon, never one to disappoint a fan, begins to reread the passage and in doing so chants in Abyssal and opens a passage to the First Circle of Hell.  The audience runs off, leaving Dime, Kotghar, Locks, and Smash to wrestle with the Hell Archers summoned forth.  The Mysterious Woman disappears taking Canon and Aruncus with her.  Dime explains, "We need the Horselords!"

[December 2, 2018]

The Horselords are gathered around the campfire in Sidonia's keep.  They are busy mending their boots, cooking, and caring for their horses.  The conversation causally turns to the whereabouts of Aruncus, when Dime and Kothgar burst into the camp.  They exclaim that something happened at the Annakol Theater involving Canon and a portal to Hell.  The riders give a lukewarm response to hearing of Canon in peril.  When Dime and Kothgar mention Aruncus is also in danger, the Harras spring forward and ride to her aid.  In the city, they encounter the Annakol Theater in flames and denizens from the First Circle of Hell moving about.  The riders defeat the Hell-beasties, resurrect Smash, and close the portal by countering Canon's incantation.

Lady Sidonia appears at the theater and apologies, to the surprise of the Horselords.  She explains that she and Zamboni grew concerned over Canon's book about the Horselords.  In it, he detailed the lives of the rider's in too much detail, so Zamboni enchanted Canon, twisting his writing into a nonsensical story.  But the magic that cloaked the Horselords was not impervious to all spellcraft.  It appears a Servant of Loki has discovered the magic and a way to corrupt it further.  When read backwards by Canon and other likely bards portals to Hell can open. 

Sidonia tasks the Horselords, Dime, and Kothgar to track down the Servant of Loki and stop them, rescue Canon, Aruncus, and the others (here, here) in their midst, and stop the chaos from spreading across the lands.

 

[December 9, 2018]

Aruncus lands with a hard thump as she is thrown into the back of the covered wagon. Canon lands nearby, with a loud groan, but not from him but from a larger framed, bound man with a striking resemblance to Canon. "They finally got you," says a caged third man from the dark corner of the wagon. Aruncus pulls herself up only to be suddenly thrown back to the floor as the wagon lurches forward at travels at a great pace.   From the sounds of the wheels, Aruncus can tell they are moving across the paved streets of Annakol, and then onto the dirt road, and then into the woods. She quickly grabs her copy of Horselords: The Complete Story and rips a page.  She slides it out through the crack under the wagon door.  Canon gasps at her action, and asks what is she doing! Aruncus, somehow finding the energy to smile, looks at Canon and tears another page from the book.  "I'm leaving a crumb trail," she says as she takes another page and slides it out the crack.  Even though she isn't entirely sure what is happening to her, she finds the satisfaction of tearing a third page from the book while Canon watches.

The Riders dash out of the Annakol theater, confused and looking for clues.  A passerby informs them of a covered wagon speeding away, offering a lead that is quickly corroborated with a torn page for Horselords: The Complete Story.  They dash through the gates of Annakol, along the North Road, and into the Annakol woods, following the trail of pages and past the chaos literally left in the wake of the wagon!  The Horselords follow the trail to the ferry landing outside of The Shire to learn the wagon boarded a boat and headed down river to Tharbad.  Boarding a nearby boat, they make their own way down river....

[December 16, 2018]

[no games December 23 and 30]

[January 6, 2019]

The wagon lurches to a stop, throwing Aruncus, Canon, and the other captives forward.  There's the sound of a woman barking orders and after a moment the sound of the lock clicking open.  The wagon door swings open, blinding everyone inside.  "Time fer another show, pretty boy" slurs the stout dwarf blocking their way out.  "I think not!", says Canon.  The dwarf replies, "Let me give you some encouragement, pretty boy." The dwarf grabs Fat Canon by the ankle and yanks him out of the wagon.  "Yer be singing or yer brother gets it!" warns the dwarf.  Canon argues "He's not my brother..." but is cut off as the woman with the warm smile appears in the doorway and quietly says, "You perform again, Canon, or else we will kill each and everyone in this wagon, and then the people you love."  Canon glances, helpless, to Aruncus and Willam, for support.  With an audible gulp he climbs out of the wagon to do as he is told.

The ferry hits the Tharbad docks and the Horselords stampede off the boat in pursuit of the wagon.  Pages from the book lead the riders to the Tharbad arena and the second portal opened to Hell.  With a bit of effort, they succeed in breaking Canon's enchantment.  With only a moment to catch their breath, they spur on their horses and ride at a break neck pace to catch up to the wagon.

[January 13, 2019]

*RIIIIIPPPPPP* The sound cuts over the thundering hooves and the creaking wheels as the wagon races onward.

Canon winces at Aruncus tears as she slides another torn page under the wagon's locked door. 

"Must you enjoy it so?" he asks.

She pauses, looks at him, and reads the next page, "Aruncus climbs onto the rock and begins to luridly tease the team of dwarves nearby...." She stops and looks at Canon. "Why did you write this about me?"

Canon, beginning to show strain from his forced spell casting, "I didn't write that.... what in the Hells are you talking about?"

Before the conversation could continue, the passengers are thrown to the side as the wagon takes a hard turn and comes to a stop. 

Aruncus hides the book and prepares for their captures to open the locked door.  

Canon, pales, as he braces himself to again deliver the enchantment.

The riders push hard through the woods along back trails that rarely traveled. Twists and turns. Hills and plains. They finally emerge in the Northern Meadows and find the third portal on the hill.  They race to it, slaughtering the Hell Spawn that is crawling forth.  Entering the portal they are greeted by...... Krago?! The Dwarven Wizard has divined himself to relay the message the the Servant of Loki is behind this and , forcing Canon to push harder and harder with the enchanted portals through Limbo and into the depths of Hell itself.  Krago tells them to keep up the chase, keep after Aruncus and the other captives, and to close the portals as they encounter them.  With that, Krago fades, and the Horselords dash deeper into the enchantment, slaying the demons and devils in their path, and again break the spell cast by Canon.  Porting back to the hillside, they are met by a drifting torn page from the book, indicating Aruncus is still leaving a trail for them to follow.

[January 20, 2019]

The wagon jostles the captives as it bounces along at a rapid pace.  The sound of the creaking wheels is only broken by the occasional RRRRIIIIPPPP as Aruncus pulls a page and carefully slides it under the door.  Canon, weakened even more, slumps against the wagon wall, as his hefty look-alike and the sallow man look on.  Aruncus has learned the sallow man has worked as a man servant for a well to do lady in Annakol and was kidnapped for his literary interpretation mistaken as a keen spellcraft.  "Excuse me for being well read and worldly," he sighed with sarcasm during their conversation.  The Canon doppelganger just had the bad luck of mistaken identify; "I'm going to pick my shows my carefully if I ever get out of here" he hopefully shared.  Canon, on the other hand, just rocks with the sway of the wagon.  Beaten. Defeated. Finally, he asks, "Aruncus, what do you read on those pages you loathe so much?"  She pauses mid tear and looks from him to the page.... questioning his question.  She begins reading a passage about some insane story about a ship and traveling through space.  As she struggles with the nonsensical words of "flux capacitor" and the confusing story line, the words shift into poetry for a second.  Surprised, she looks up at Canon, and then back to the page not knowing what happened.  Again, the letters swim before her eyes and the story becomes one of heartfelt appreciation and beauty written by Canon about the Horselords.  Her eyes tear up as she rereads the book.

Suddenly, the brakes and they come to a halt.  There is a commotion outside and when the wagon door is thrown open, the prisoners are greeted with the smell of sea air.

[for this game, Safia played the part of Aruncus; Kothgar, Fat Canon; Dime, Willam]

The captives are pulled from the wagon and tossed into cages, except for Canon, too weak to do anything.  Aruncus, Fat Canon, and Willam try their best to get out of the cages but with no success.  The vagabond travelers holding them captive take turns taunting the prisoners and abusing Canon.  The Mysterious Woman then appears, revealing she is serving her Master, Loki.  She states she no longer has a need for Fat Canon and Willam and infers their freedom.  But, she refers to Aruncus as Canon's understudy.  With that, the Woman and her henchman pull Canon up and force him to begin another incantation.  Aruncus, Fat Canon, and Willam protest loudly from the cages.  A vagabond traveler approaches.  With a spell he kills Fat Canon, but Willam manages to escape. Aruncus watches on in horror as another portal opens.

[January 27, 2019]

The Horselords near the coast.  They encounter a travel worn William, having escaped from the caravan.  He warns the Riders of the perils ahead before they press onward.  At the coast, they find another open portal, hellhounds and goblins, and the bloodied corpse of Fat Canon.  After dispensing of the hellspawn, the Horselord revive Fat Canon.  He shares that the Servant of Loki is forcing Canon to open portals and that Aruncus is another captive.  Fat Canon runs off and the Horselords close another Hell portal.

Open returning from the Limbo planes, the Horselords see a ship on the horizon flying the Flag of Shorembo.

[no games February 3 and 10]

[February 17, 2019]

The Horselords board Shorembo's ship and are in pursuit of the Servant of Loki by sea.  Rough waters slow their travels but they make their way to the shores of Roseberry.

[February 24, 2019]

[March 3, 2019]

[no game March 10]

[March 17, 2019]

[no game March 24]

[March 31, 2019]

Aruncus and a weary Canon are roughly moved from the ship to the shore and loaded onto another wagon and hurriedly carted away. 

Canon falls to a heap on the floor and Aruncus cradles his head in her arms.  "I can't do this again..." Canon says to Aruncus, "... it's going to kill me".  Aruncus gently strokes his hair trying to offer comfort.  She realizes her disdain for him has morphed into an understanding of the situation.  Canon didn't intend to do harm to her or the Horselords but was manipulated into this situation, and now exploited by this Servant of Loki.  She strokes his hair to offer comfort, "It will be alright... we'll get through this".  Canon smiles weakly and falls asleep.  Aruncus listens to sound of the wagon wheels pass hurriedly along the road.  The wagon abruptly halts, the doors thrown open and Aruncus is blinded by the sunlight and smells the salty air of the ocean.  The dwarf grabs Canon by the ankles and yanks him out of the wagon. "No!" Aruncus cries out, but her fight to hold the bard back is useless.  The wagon door is shut  and locked again.  She hears the Servant of Loki berating Canon as she demands he opens another portal.  Aruncus hears the sound of Canon being hit and kicked, but he does not read from the book.  Things then go silent.

Meanwhile, in a nearby town, an old woman sits down at her writing desk and begins a reply to a letter.

Dear Mr. Locks,

I want to express my appreciation for your nicely drawn image of Canon.  Once again, you truly capture his spirit and the joy he brings to the world. I think it surpasses the others you have sent to me!  I will display it with honor next to your other works at our Headquarters.  Your artistic renderings continue to be popular with visitors.

I wish you luck in getting tickets to Canon's upcoming book discussions.  I hear they are proving to be quite popular.

She continues with other platitudes, gossip, and a few bits of Canon-lore.  She ends the note with her name and title, President of the International Canon Fan Club.

The old woman then hangs the image on the wall next to the others from Mr Locks.

 

The Horselords enter Barrydale and discover, to their surprise, the headquarters to Canon's Fan Club.  The old woman greats them in the garden and invites them all in for a tour.  There is the early works of Canon including childhood writings, rare images of Canon's boyhood, an impressive if not eclectic collection of fan art, and Canon's boyhood bedroom!  The old woman is Canon's mother and the headquarters is his childhood home.  And, the old woman reveals his name isn't actually Canon but.... Ralph Piorkoski.  As the Horselords ponder the name, shouts are heard from outside. 

The Riders rush to discover Canon's unconscious body has been discarded from the back of a wagon outside the gates of town.  It was last seen heading across the farmland.  As the Horselords prepare chase, Zamboni appears to remove the original enchantment he placed on Canon to mask the writing and details of the Horselords.  In conversation, the Horselords reveal to Zamboni that Aruncus is still in the hands of the Servant of Loki, which draws dire concern from Zamboni.  He urges them to get to Aruncus before she is forced to open a portal!  With this, the Horselords follows the trail of the wagon to the Mouth of the Misty Blue River. 

It is too late!  Aruncus lies in a coma having been forced to open a portal.  The Servant of Loki watches as the Horselords have battle with the wagon driver and demons.  The Horselords defeat the Servant of Loki, but are unable to revive Aruncus as her soul is now bound to the Plane of Hell. 

In an attempt to rescue her, they enter and find themselves not in limbo as previously, but deep into the 9th Circle of Hell! 

The Horselords battle demon after demon... they keep coming!  From above, Zamboni reaches across the plane to rescue everyone and is able to pull Dime and Kothgar back to the world.  The Magic within the Horselords keeps them bound and he is unable to rescue them.  The Horselords are trapped in Hell.

Epilogue

POV: Dime

On 3/31/2019 at 9:42 PM, NeoRebel said:

I ended up coming back to Barrydale on my own two feet. I had to come back and look after those two after everything that happened.

Canon and Aruncus were in beds. Canon was still mentally and spiritually exausted after opening so many portals to Hell, but I think he'll be fine. But Aruncus... well, if I hadn't seen myself, I would say she was in a coma. She wouldn't wake up not matter what. ... Of course she wouldn't. Her soul was trapped in Hell. And now, the Horselords are trapped there with her. And if it wasn't for Zamboni, me and Kothgar would be trapped there too.

I should've been able to do something! Anything! I should've been able to prevent... THIS from happening! Safia... Vindul... Gus... Tobin... Some of Galandar's greatest heroes are now trapped in Hell. My mind keeps saying it's not my fault. My heart keeps saying the opposite. And even if it's not my fault, I can't help but think it is.

I looked at Canon and Aruncus... thinking, maybe thinking too much. I grabbed a feather, some ink and started to write a letter.

"Canon, if you're reading this, then I already departed back to Annakol City. I messed up big time. Long story made short: you're fine, but Aruncus and the Horselords are trapped in Hell. And I'm going to rescue them. Not by my lonesome, of course not. I'm daring, but not stupid. I'm gonna rest a bit and re-supply my stock of... everything. Then I'm gonna speak with Zamboni about all of this mess and reunite the most formidable adventurers we can find to undergo this super-task.

You just stay there and be the guy you've always been. I'm glad you're safe, I really am. You might be a little bit of an airhead, but I always knew your heart was in the right place.

Now rest and don't you dare leaving this bed until you're fully recovered! Don't make come back from Hell just to put you back in this bed!

Be safe, buddy.

- Dime"

I left the letter on Canon's bedside table and departed. There was no time to waste. The Horselords were still fighting. I must keep on fighting too. I'll reunite the most powerful adventurers I can find to go through the nine circles of Hell, trample Asmodeus and rescue the Horselords. ...

... and break every single rule I imposed on myself about fighting goblins. Hell goblins. Glory goblins. They'll all be there, waiting for us. ... and the single thought of myself killing a goblin... when I noticed, there were some tears on my face.

So this is how "failing" feels.

But it must be done.

I'm sorry, Glory.

[April 7, 2019]

[April 21, 2019]

[April 28, 2019]

[May 5, 2019]

Time passed in a blink of an eye.  Time dragged on for eternity.

Aruncus saw Dime and Kothgar pulled from Hell as the demons swarmed them.  She looked to the sky, drawn by its power as if someone was calling her name but the owner of the voice could not be seen.

The silence was deafening. The roar was painful.

She fought. They fought. When one Hellgoblin would fall two more would take its place.

She was excited. She was exhausted.

The battle never ended. Yet they fought on and on and on.

The light was blinding. The light was warm.

Was that something different?  Did the monotony change?  Was that a familiar face? Was that a friendly hand?

She was lead forward  and out of Hell.  

Shew awakes safely in camp.

[no game May 12]

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[Secret Steinhammer Dwarf Business]

This sounds like my Saturday nights.

 

[Game Summary]

[September 9, 2018]

The 4 Steinhammers make their way down the ramp from the Historic District Park.  The Mysterious Woman and 3 gypsy travelers watch on.

*Gypsy traveler, exotic accent* Seems we are not the only one looking for the bard.

*Mysterious woman with warm smile* No, no we are not.... make sure our guests are.... comfortable.  I wouldn't want anything unfortunate to happen to them.

 

[Game Summary]

[in the alley in the south end of Annakol City, a bard hits the ground a loud thump.]

Fat Canon: *sweating and looking up at the bathroom window he just scaled out* Ugh... I should not have ate that Groo before going on.... 

Gypsy Traveler: *exotic accent* Good evening sir... Perhaps I can have a word with you?

FC: Uh.... now, isn't a really good time...  *holds his stomach*

GT: Oh, Yes it is...

*Darkness is cast and the Canon impersonator is hoisted into a nearby wagon and carted away*

*A loud flushing sound echoes out of the bathroom window*

[Game Summary]

[Later that evening after the book club at the Feisty Chicken]

*the Mysterious Woman with the warm smile knocks on the door to Ludmilla's House of Waxworks*

*Willem, the manservant, carrying a tray of tea for Ludmilla's night cap, answers the door*

W: Good evening. I was not expecting to see you again so soon.

MW: *coos* I really enjoyed your views on the book earlier this evening.  I was hoping to further our conversation.

W: *slight blush* This really isn't the best of times.... *glancing to the tray*

MW: Oh, but it is... *pulls back her hood to reveal her warm smile paired with cold eyes*

*Darkness is cast and 3 pairs of rough hands grab the manservant and pull him out the door. The tray of tea crashes to the ground and is all that is left when the darkness dissipates*

*Ludmilla calls out from her reading room*: Villem! Vhere is my tea!

 

 

[Horsing Around]

Chapter 2 Game Schedule (Tentative)

7pm to 9pm Central Time

• June 5: Chapter start (please log in by 6:30 for gear)
• June 10:
• June 17: DM will be returning from a conference this day- Tentative
• June 24: No DM (out of town) Feel free to RP in the Starship Horselord as the Aruncus 5000 is offline for an update.
• July 1:
• July 8: DM will be returning from a long weekend with parents.  He WILL need to kill something this night.
• July 15:
• July 22: DM will be returning from Chicago... Feel free to RP in the Starship Horselord as the Aruncus 5000 is offline for an update.
• July 29: Chapter end

Due to personal commitments, the 6 games for chapter 2 will likely be scattered over the months of June and July.  Nights I'm unable to make it I will let others PA lead and you are free to RP in the Starship Horselord.

 

 

[In Character Commentary]

Aruncus picks up The Book— it’s now how she refers to it — and again opens it. 

How can it be any worse?

She flips to the next section and begins to read aloud.

Chapter 2: Horselords and the Guardians of the Star Trek Galactica.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy really, really far away the Starship Horselord 1 sets off on its maiden voyage to explore the multiverse.  Equipped with the most stately state-of-the-art AI technology, the Aruncus 5000, the highly trained crew has set off to go where no humanoid has gone before.

Our story begins with the crew receiving a distress signal from a nearby planet…

 

[Hello from DM Mykkal]

With new players popping on, some of us server relics thought we would reintroduce ourselves to all the new comers.

I am Mike.  You can see me log on under mkmddx and appear as DM Mykkal, the Druid Mykkal, the bard Canon, as well as a number of other characters.  I’m based out of Madison, WI (Central time zone, same as Chicago).  I usually run a Sunday night campaign, typically Horselords.  I like epic battles with with strong role play.  As a player, I steer away from front line meat shields and prefer support positions in the party.

 I first logged into Realms of Annakolia in July 2005. I’ve made some great friends here over the decade and have managed to meet a few of you in real life!  I have two bits of advice for new players.  First, keep it simple!  Don’t worry about a long, complicated back story with your character.  As a DM, I don’t know nor care.  Live in the moment and have your story develop as you play. Second, get involved in DM games and get to know us.  Of course, we are evil and are trying to kill you.  But, isn’t that why you are here? 

 

[Hello from DM Mykkal]

 

 

[In Character Commentary]

Aruncus picks up The Book— it’s now how she refers to it — and again opens it. 

How can it be any worse?

She flips to the next section and begins to read aloud.

Chapter 2: Horselords and the Guardians of the Star Trek Galactica.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy really, really far away the Starship Horselord 1 sets off on its maiden voyage to explore the multiverse.  Equipped with the most stately state-of-the-art AI technology, the Aruncus 5000, the highly trained crew has set off to go where no humanoid has gone before.

Our story begins with the crew receiving a distress signal from a nearby planet…

[Applying for the Campaign]

I'm game, depending on the campaign schedule.  As you have noticed, I'm not a night owl but could make it past 9pm Central once a week if need be.

[Horsing Around]

CHAPTER 2:

 

Rules (still under development)

 

For the entirety of Chapter 2, players will be required to use items provided in game ONLY and the following starter gear:

• 
   
  
• Adventuer's Warming Cloak (can be modified in appearance, but colors should be limited to basic red, blue, green, and yellow)
  
• Boots of Speed
  
• Belt of Guiding Light
  
• Any helm +1 and modified to be the types used in Horselords.
  

 

More information will be provided.

 

Character Types: (to be assigned)

• 
   
  
• Captain (Kirk, Picard, and similar)
  
• #1 (Spock, the guy with the beard)
  
• Communication Officer
  
• Engineering
  
• Medical
  

 

List to be expanded upon....

[In Character Commentary]

 

Aruncus settles by the fire with the book. She opens the cover and turns the pages to the first chapter. Here eyes move across the first paragraph and into the second.

 

As she reads, her brow begins to tighten.

 

She pauses and looks down at her modest brown dress.

 

A concerned look appears on her face.

 

She returns to the book and rereads a few sentences.

 

She looks back down at her dress and then back to the book.

 

Her brow furrows with rage and she yells,

 

My neckline does NOT plunge and my bosom does NOT spill forth!!

 

Angered, she continues reading.

[In Character Commentary]

 

Aruncus steps out of her tent and finds a wrapped package in their campsite inside the walls of Sidonia's castle.

 

She picks it up and looks around for the possible sender. Seeing no one, she carefully unwraps the package to reveal a new book, crisp and clean. The cover is embossed in gold with a line drawing of a horse. The spine is etched with "Horselords: The Complete Story". Curious, she opens the cover and reads a note scrawled inside:

 

Dearest Horselords,

 

Thank you for the inspiration.

 

I hope you enjoy!

 

Best wishes,

 

Canon.

[Game Summary]

Chapter 1:Horselords and the Chamber of Sorcerer's Hallows

[March 4, 2018] The story opens with the Horselords encamped in a rainy city with Pigwitz School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Safia attempts to woo Kothgar with her cooking, with a lovesick Vin nearby. A hefty Gus keeps an eye of the spry youth, Tobin. A sultry Aruncus offers supplies. Duglar Sconeblood and Dime chat away nearby.

Larry, Rob, and Heather enlist the Horselords to help their friend, Hagrid, rescue a unicorn from the Forbidden forest. After defeating a nest of Acromantualas, the Horselords heal the injured unicorn. Before its departure, the unicorn emotes to everyone the coming of a great evil and the need to help Larry, Rob, and, Heather in a task.

Rushing back to the school, the Horselords learn from the students a great evil, Lord Zindemort, has been trying to kill them for years! Larry, Rob, and Heather must destroy Lord Zindemort's soul, but they can't do it from detention. They ask the Horselords for their help in completing a Potions Assignment. The Horselords agree to help them find Sidonia's Diary, Shorembo's Locket, Krago's Cup, and Zamboni's Ring.

[March 11, 2018] The Harass makes camp outside of Sidonia's castle and a delegation of Riders enter the castle to meet with The Lady. They are instructed to wait in the library until Lady Sidonia is available, but Gus gets separated from the group. In the library, a strange sound echoes from the walls. First a hiss. Then a clang. Then unintelligible words that implied danger. Suddenly, the floor shakes as if there's a cave in deep.

A ghost, Moanin Myrtle, appears and asks for help as someone is in her toilet. The Horselords enter the lavatory and find a passage way to a hidden chamber deep below the castle. Upon entering the hidden passage, they learn the sounds in the library were created by a large basilisk, and its intended victim was Gus!! Oh no!! The Horselords defeat the basilisk and save Gus. Upon returning to the castle, Lady Sidonia greets them with much appreciation and freely hands them her diary to complete the first task in their quest.

[March 18, 2018] The Horselords enter the City of Durin and find Krago in the Crude Anvil and Hammer. The great wizard is thrilled to see them! He offers them all his elixer and they find themselves wandering through a dream-world forest and into a magical maze. magical portkeys are scattered about and the Horselords must work together to solve the riddle of the maze. The last portkey whisks them away to a dark cemetery where they come face to face with Lord Zindemort and his Deatheaters. A magical battle ensues!!! The Horselords then awake from their magically induced stooper to be gifted with Krago's Cup from the Mage himself. After emotional farewells, the Horselords ride to find Shorembo for the next item.

[March 25, 2018] The Horselords arrive at the entrance to the Elven City, Elommen. A dark mood comes over Aruncus. The Riders enter the city at night and find a bereaved Shorembo. His favorite cat, Crookshanks, has gone missing. The Horselords agree to help find the prized pet, described as having a locket around his neck for a collar. Upon searching the city, the Horselords encounter numerous Dementors and Inferi. With the defeat of the dark demons, the air of dispare disappears from the city and the Horselords find Crookshanks up a tree. Upon return the cat to Shorembo, he grants them their wish of obtaining the locket.

[April 1, 2018] Captain Ego von Canon delivers the Horselords to Zamboni's Isle. They make their way through his garden and find Zamboni in his Keep. If they want his ring, they must reclaim it from his fortified cellar, where it is guarded by an ancient white dragon. The Horselords complete the task and now have all 4 components of the quest. They make their way back to the ship in order to return to the school.

[April 8, 2018] The Horselords arrive back at Pigzitz School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with the 4 items. Larry meets them at the gates and collect the items. But, in a sudden turn of events, it is revealed he is Lord Zindemort in disguise!! Lord Zindemort grabs the items and Aruncus and dashes into the school. A great battle ensues in the hallways of the school. Tobin cries for his mother, as they fight off spiders, deatheaters, basilisk, dementors, and cave trolls. When it looks as if all hope is lost, they defeat Lord Zindemort and free Aruncus in a dramatic ending.

[April 15, 2018] BOOK CLUB AT LUDMILLA'S HOUSE OF WAX WORKS.

A healthy discussion of chapter 1 ensued, lead by the non-verbal half-orc and with the participation of the Girl Rangers.  A mysterious woman intent on seeing the author, Canon, revealed herself to be Aruncus seeking retribution against the bard.

Chapter 2: Horselords and the Guardians of the Star Trek Galactica.

[June 3, 2018] The Starship Horselord, in midst of exploring parts unknown in the multiverse, receives a distress call from a nearby planet.  Crew jump to light speed and race to the source on the planet Tatooine. Aruncus 5000 transports the away team as close as she can to the signal of the source, into a spaceport filled with beings from a number of other planets.  As the away team moves through town they are accosted by a Darth Zin's guard team searching for droids and think the DAGLAR model traveling with the away team is one of the missing machines.  Using an old Jedi mind trick, they avoid a confrontation and continue to move towards the signal source outside of town.

The Tatooine desert leaves little to the eye as they push through the sand toward the source.  Closing in on the source, they find a starship that has plunged to the planet.  Two droids-- Shorem 3BO and Krago D2- great the away team and convey a holographic message from Princess Sidonia.  The message is addressed to Zamboni Won Kenobi and thatthe droids carry the top secret plans to defeat Darth Zin.

The Horselords, with the two droids, are then transported back to the Starship Horselord and set course to help deliver the message.

(Cameos: Lady Sidonia, Shorembo, Krago, and Zabmoni; references: Star Trek, Star Wars)

[June 10, 2018] The Starship Horselord intercepts a distress call from a nearby planetoid, LV 426. The away team beams downs to discover the body of Science Officer, Lino. Upon revival, he reveals his team is scattered throughout the facility and he would appreciate the teams' assistance in finding his missing science crew, including his wife. The Horselords explore, encountering a strange alien that is impervious to all but fire. Thankfully, they have flamethrowers! Each science officer is found, alien eggs are destroyed, and the Away Team returns to the Starship Horselord safely.

(Cameos: Lino and notable characters from the Feisty Chicken; references: Alien and Aliens)

[July 1, 2018] The Starship Horselord responds to a distress signal from the planet Bananakolia.  They are ported to the planet's surface outside of the major city, Bananakol.  The inhabitants are intelligent apes and are wary of their "naked", alien visitors. The away team finds the source of the distress signal, an old waxwork statue of a human rider on a horse.  Before they could discern the reason or logic behind the signal, the Horselords are jumped by a hostile gang of apes.  In the midst of battle, Aruncus gets a fix on their location and Captain Sunni orders them transported out of the situation immediately.

(Cameos: Jania and the population of Annakol City; references: Planet of the Apes)

[July 8, 2018] Glitches plague the ship. Static on the screens. Squelches on the audio.  Things escalate to full blown technical chaos on the ship with flux capacitors blowing on nearly every deck.  Aruncus goes offline and a number of the crew are trapped in the holideck. The ship comes to a halt near the planet Arrakis and an away team is assembled to gather supplies to rebuild the flux capacitors and repair the ship. 

The away team is beamed down and encounters the local inhabitants, The Frenemies, and are warned of worms and of Baron T<>'s iron rule of the planet.  The away team explores, gather the necessary spice, and survive an attack by the Baron and his men.  Arunucus comes back online, beams the away team back to the ship.  Flux capacitors are repaired and replaced and the Starship Horselord resumes its course.

(Cameos: Dahlia and other residents of The Shire, Baron T and his guards; references: Dune)

[July 15, 2018] The crew of the Starship Horselord are transporting the Tholian Ambassador when the first sign of trouble appeared-- a tribble in the engineering deck.  More began to appear in cargo, sickbay, and on the bridge.  At the same time, a distress call from the nearby planet moon of Pandora is received!  It is decided all members, including the ambassador, will beam down to the moon surface while Aruncus conducts a biopurge of the ship.

On the surface, the crew encounters a lush jungle environment and Dr. Thadeus Kelmer. The doctor is distraught at how his machines are being used to destroy the planet.  He directs the crew to the Na'vi, the natives of the planet.  Galadriel, the leader of the Na'vi, directs the crew to the Gnomish mining camp.  Members disengage a mining golem on the way and then proceed to dismantle the remaining machines in the camp.  Aruncus completes the biopurge of the tribbles into the airspace above and then transports the crew back onboard the Starship Horselord.

(Cameos: Galadriel and the Rangers of the North, King of Gnomar, Dr. Thadeus Kelmer; references Avatar)

[July 22, 2018] The Starship Horselord arrives at the planet, Ahch-To in order to deliver the droids Shorem-3-P-0 and Krago-D-2 to their rightful owner, Zamboni-Won-Kenobi.  Upon transporting to the surface they meet Master Lo Chi Min who warns, "All it seems, it is not!" The away team presses on through several encounters and barriers until they reach Zamboni-Won's treehouse.

Upon entering, they find Zamboni-Won having tea with Darth Zin. The results of genetic testing shows that Guth and Saf are sibling, Kothgar is result of the coupling of Zin and a groupie, and everyone else is a Cylon replicant. 

(cameos: Zamboni, Krago, Shorembo, Sensai, Zin; references: Star Wars, Alien vs Predator, Terminator, Battlestar Galactica)

[July 29, 2018] BOOK CLUB AT FEISTY CHICKEN

A mix of bibliophiles joined the Steinhammer twins for a lengthy discussion of chapter 2.  Lino revealed he isn't too happy about how he was portrayed.  And, rumor has it others important political-types aren't too happy about their character assassination in the pages. 

Worth noting is the kindled rapport between Ludmilla's manservant, Willem, and the mysterious woman in attendance.

Chapter 3: This Chapter Sucks

[September 23, 2018] The Horselords gather around the campfire and grab a quick bowl of stew before mounting their Hippogriffs and flying off on patrol.  Along the North Road they encounter two arguing individuals.  A sparkly vampire named Edward and a flea ridden, shirtless hunk named Jacob.  They are both arguing furiously over Bella, in which they both have strong feelings for.  Apparently she has been kidnapped by a ruthless gang of vampires and they can't decide how to save her.  The Horselords continue their patrol and tame the giant herds in the Bane Mountains.  On the mountain, they encounter the vampire horde and rescue Bella, to learn she was running from both Jacob and Edward.  

(Cameos: Ludmilla Drachenova as Bella Drachenova. References: Twilight series, Harry Potter)

[October 7, 2018] The Horselords gather around the campfire and grab a quick bowl of stew before mounting their Hippogriffs and flying off on patrol.  Along the North Road they encounter two arguing individuals.  A ruffian vampire and a flea ridden werewolf  They are both arguing furiously over Selene, in which they both have strong feelings for.  Apparently she has run off and they can't decide how to find her.  The Horselords continue their patrol and tame the giant herds in the Bane Mountains.  On the mountain, they encounter Selene smooching with her new manservant, Lupin.  

(Cameos: Ludmilla Drachenova as Selence Drachenova. References: Underworld series, Harry Potter)

[October 21, 2018] The Horselords gather around the campfire and grab a quick bowl of stew before mounting their Hippogriffs and flying off on patrol.  Along the North Road they encounter Ludmilla, distraught over her new manservant become a werewolf and terrorizing the City.  The Horselords dash through the Annakol gates to find the guards attacked and in need of care.  Blood is everywhere, which seems to have brought out an element of undead into the city streets.  The Horselords find the werewolf at the fishing hole and quickly attend to the situation.

(Cameos: Ludmilla Drachenova as Herself. References: American Werewolf in London,
Interview with a Vampire, Sesame Street, breakfast cereal,  Harry Potter)

The Horselords gather around the campfire and grab a quick bowl of.... WAIT!!! It is only a pot of boiling water!  All the vegetables in camp have been turned into lifeless, squishy, tasteless blobs.  The Horselords mounty their hippogryphs and fly into the city to gather more vegetables.  But the food merchant is only left with colorless, lifeless stems, leaves, and roots.  A trail of phallic vegetables leads the Horselords to Ludmilla's House of Wax and a pantry in a disarray of dehydrated root crops.  A a trail of putrid parsley leads them upstairs to encounter County Bunnicula! A battle ensues and the Horselords put a steak, medium rare, through the vegan beasts heart. 

(Cameos: Ludmilla Drachenova as Herself. References: Bunnicula)

[November 11, 2019] Book Club

(Earlier in the day)  Aruncus rides along the North Road.  She overhears two girl rangers giggling.  Pausing to eavesdrop, she over hears them chatting about That Book.  Between the girls' giggling fits, she catches the name... Canon... and speculation he may be giving a reading during the book club later that day at the Annakol Theater.  Aruncus nudges her horse along and heads back to camp to prepare.

(later that night) It was standing room only for the event at the Annakol Theater.  Dime, Kothgar, Locks, and Smash were a few familiar faces in the crowd waiting to hear Canon.  He appears in a flash and jumps right into a reading from his book, Horselords: A Complete History.  He then moves to questions from the crowd.  Answers were.... less than insightful and he often had an out of focused look to his eye.  Aruncus appears in the back of the crowd and asks about her less than flattering portrayal.  Canon only has praise for Aruncus and call her the heart of the Horselords.  Another question comes from a Mysterious Woman with a warm smile.  She asks Canon to read a passage from Chapter 1.  Canon does, but she has a follow up question: will Canon read it again, but BACKWARDS this time.  Canon, never one to disappoint a fan, begins to reread the passage and in doing so chants in Abyssal and opens a passage to the First Circle of Hell.  Most of the audience runs off, leaving Dime, Kotghar, Locks, and Smash to wrestle with the Hell Arches summoned forth.  The Mysterious Woman disappears taking Canon and Aruncus with her.  Dime explains, "We need the Horselords!"

 

 

 

Chapter 4:

 

 

Chapter 5:

[In Character Commentary]

The boisterous bard gathers his papers together with a satisfied grin.

 

Done!

 

Now, to get this bound and distributed!

 

He heads out of his Sunbird Manor apartment and makes his way into the city.

[In Character Commentary]

Horselords: Loose Canon

2018

 

can·on1

ˈkanən/

• 
   
  
• A collection or list of sacred books accepted as genuine.
  
• A boisterous, good natured, B-list celebrity bard looking to make a literary name for himself.
  

 

Initial adventures in this series can be inclusive of players running non-HL classes.

 

The series of games will be based on the published works of an area bard, with a questionable literary style, and will NOT be part of the world’s time frame. Oh, you’ll see what I mean when we play…

 

Players are expected to engage in epic adventure and epic role play.

 

The Loose Canon games will be non-world building games based very loosely on popular culture and from the POV as characters in an awkwardly written book published in the Realms of Annakol universe.

 

Please use the thread below of IC role play outside of scheduled games.

[Out Of Office]

My apologies to all players, but I need a hiatus.

 

Real life has too many distractions right now.

 

And the ever dwindling player base is discouraging. The last straw was the DM/PC skirmish last week. I don't have the time or energy to deal with that kind of crap.

 

It's been fun, and I'll miss many people. But it is time.

[Out Of Office]

Hey gang,

 

I've had something come up where I have to be out of town Saturday (today) and will not be back in time for Sunday's game on July 15.

 

Sorry,

 

M.

[Out Of Office]

That is a good game idea!

 

:-)

[Out Of Office]

Hey players,

 

we had a crash on the homestretch! i can't get back on at this moment so I'll deal out XP and gems next week.

 

good game everyone!

 

Mike.