Sometimes I stop, lost in thought. For a heartbeat? - an hour? - a year? I don't know. I can't tell.
Sometimes I dream. I don't remember them clearly. Something blue - purest cerulean, the sky I think. Also a sense of protection, like a shield. But even these vague impressions were fleeting, I can not recall them now, only the memory of what I recalled upon waking.
I found a hall with rows of combat dummies. It was eerie, to be the only one standing in what should be a room full of warriors training, to listen, and hear nothing save my own breath.
I struck at one half-heartedly, on mere impulse, and then another strike, and a kick, by reflex. I did not know I had these skills. I lost myself in the rhythm for a time. It helped. I didn't realize I was so tense, until afterward, and I was calmer.